Saying Goodbye at the Edge of the World

We collected smooth, flat rocks from the beach at the edge of the world--or, at least, the edge of our country. We collected them because we brought crayons to write messages about Aunt Linda in memory of her. I received the phone call that morning that my sister-in-law had finally been taken home by God and I had no way of packing up camp quickly and driving three hours to comfort my husband and family right at that moment. Since three of my kids were with me, we decided to make a memorial right there at the tip of Canada by throwing the stones in the Lake and praying for comfort and peace for all of us who loved Linda. We knew she was made whole and healthy and full of inexpressible joy the second she entered heaven, but we were sad for those of us who were left behind to go on without her. 

We did pack up and leave a day early to be with our family but, the two days at Point Pelee on Lake Erie were memorable. We camped with my mom and step-dad, roasted marshmallows, desperately searched for any birds who were stragglers from the many flocks who'd recently migrated all over Canada after landing in that very spot only a couple weeks before. We'd postponed the trip twice and so we knew we were a little late. Nature wonders to behold everywhere anyway.

Gratitude:

1809. opportunity to travel

1810. how he still holds my hand as we walk

1811. how she trained my sisters and I to take our cameras wherever we go

1812. spotting this black-headed tern--new for me!

1813. turtles, turtles everywhere at the marsh--love them!

1814. this creepy little bird which I admire and dislike at the same time (barn swallow)

1815. for swamp sparrows

1816. the way that butterfly net amused him for hours

1817. how he'll jump into a selfie without a complaint

1818. how she must walk Mama and Papa's dog every time she sees her

1819. sleeping in the back of the truck with Molly for two nights--painful but adventurous!

1820. narrowly escaping the wrath of the red-wing blackbird (he attacked and slammed his body into my head three times before I knew what had hit me! defending his territory)

1821. loving the s'mores, avoiding the smoke

1822. how they can't wait till this time of the evening

1823. reminiscing about this one at a year and a half with sticky "washmellows" all over her

1824. how she always cooks the perfect toasty brown one for the adults before she makes her own

1825. finding a skink

1826. stretching without complaining on the very long walk

1827. how God has healed her! three years ago she had her accident and, although, still in pain, she walked all day with us on the trails

1828. how that magnifying glass opened his eyes to new things

1829. fascinated by everything

1830. how she pointed out countless things to me, then... dropped

1831. the way coming late to Pelee has its benefits... solitude... no crowds

1832. the song of the Common Yellowthroat (look it up and listen, if you get the chance)

1833. how resting still results in exploring

1834. the marsh boardwalk and how it seemed to go on forever

1835. how happy he was that he could put three new stickers in his bird book

1836. being 42 years old at the 42nd parallel :)

 

1837. knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will see my sister-in-law again

1838. tossing in our rocks and saying our earthly goodbyes at the edge of our little piece of the world

Remembering Linda

The sky was cerulean and a light breeze blew through our hair as we stood huddled under the towering oak by Linda's grave. The pastor spoke words of hope and encouraged us to lean into God and each other in the coming days. I glanced around at hands held and bodies close and knew that his exhortation would be an easy continuation for us. Pastor Paul held his Bible open, the source of wisdom for each one of us in attendance, including my dear sister-in-law. He breathed Psalm 46 like it was life--and it was. I lifted my eyes to the playground just beyond the fence where we were posed. It was so still and quiet. The only sound was birdsong, the gentle swishing of leaves above and the occasional sniffle of thankful but grieving family members. The playground... how fitting. Linda was such a playful person. I couldn't remember one family gathering where she wasn't laughing or telling a funny story or someone else was telling of some joke she'd played on an unsuspecting soul. I found out later that others were looking to that playground with these same thoughts.

I wondered how anyone could survive the devastation of cancer and all it robs us of without knowing the loving arms of God surrounding them; the Creator whispering hints of home. I wished there was a person in the park to hear these words of comfort, someone who needed it perhaps even more than we did. Within a minute, a mom with her toddler arrived and quietly played while our tiny ceremony carried on. I couldn't help but think that one precious life had just left this world and that little girl was just entering. I lifted her and her momma up in prayer. 

The pastor concluded with verse 10 of that Psalm and I quoted with him in my mind, "Be still and know that I am God." That's exactly what we were all doing, I was sure. We began to sing the Doxology, and as our voices floated through that lovely cemetery overlooking the playground, we laid astilbe stems on Linda's casket, and I was overwhelmed by how much God was sustaining our family. 

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;

Praise Him, all creatures here below;    

Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;

Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen. 

We walked back to our vehicles a little sadder, since this part of the day is always the most difficult. Linda knew this and so she made certain in her long notes about her funeral, that we'd end with a celebration, not the burial. Sustaining grace once again.

Not long after, we settled in reserved pews at the front of the church for the service. We took up six rows with the size of our family--blessings in numbers. Several of us from the family sang, "Your Love Never Fails" by Chris Tomlin, on the stage. My brother-in-law, sister-in-law and niece sang, "I Am Not Alone" by Kari Jobe. Linda's siblings shared humorously about growing up with their sister, and her children lovingly related stories of their mother with their dad standing beside them. Those brave, funny and sweet kids drew tears to my eyes. Pastor Paul spoke again and compared our sorrow to that of the storm Jesus' disciples had experienced in their boat. He began to tell of Jesus' power to calm the wind and waves and in that very moment, like a real object lesson straight from heaven, torrential rains pounded the roof of the church. Thunder roared out of nowhere and was suddenly gone as he counseled us to trust the Lord with our lives. Many were moved at the timing of it all. 

Hugs were abundant these past few days. Three well-attended visitations and a funeral later, we'd been squeezed by a lot of caring and prayerful people. More words of wisdom, more faith, more hope, more assurance. As I ravenously gobbled up a sandwich after the service, my eyes feasted on the gift of community lavished on us. I'd married into the Dutch world and it initially took some getting used to. Nearly twenty-one years later, I do nothing but praise God for this hard-working, dependable group who never drop the ball when it comes to love and support. The Lord has rewarded their faithfulness to Him with a strength of spirit and a certainty of His reality. I'm grateful to be one of them, doing my best to dote on my grieving brother-in-law and his children, and my parents-in-law. And more hugs abounding.

I held my girl on my lap and talked about death and hope and the joy of heaven. She understood that the coming days would be the tough ones for Aunt Linda's immediate family... resuming life as usual... kind of. She quite decidedly announced she was going to fast for her cousins so that they would be okay and happy. I told her that was a very loving thing to do for them and that I know God will answer her prayers because that's His desire for them too. And as days turn into years, I will keep the memory of my beautiful sister-in-law alive and remind my children about her hilarious personality and how we loved her. I will tell them how our gracious God granted us four years with her after her initial diagnosis of stage four cancer. And they will remember how God gave them an aunt they'll never forget. 

 Hanging together at the funeral home.

Practicing our song.

Waiting for a cue from Terry, who was playing the piano.

Watching the beautiful video of photos of Linda growing up, getting married, having children and living life.

Linda's two sisters xo

Cousins make everything less difficult.

Linda's two sisters xo

 Saying goodbye.

Rubber chicken on her casket? Yep, her kids knew her well :)

Sibling speech--funny, real, and loving.

 Found a crazy bunch of kids at the funeral :)

Bailey's sweet supporters.

 Post-funeral family time. Always laughing, even through the sadness.

 More amazing family.

 God is sustaining our joy and giving peace. May He be felt among us and through us in the difficult days to come.

(The Scripture that comforted Linda in her last months...)

Jesus said to her, "I am the Resurrection and the Life. The one who believes in Me will live, even though they die, and whoever lives by believing in Me will never die. Do you believe this?"
John 11:25,26

Dilly Dilly

I didn't want to wash my hands for the rest of the day. Farmer Kevin beckoned us to rub our hands over the lavender foliage to secrete the oil, even though the flowers hadn't bloomed. It had been a tough spring, he said, which kept his fields from overflowing with purple deliciousness when we were there. At least the fragrance was abundant! He taught us the difference between his herbal/culinary English lavender and his French lavender, used for room sprays and sachets. He explained how he and his wife impressively create 107 different items from the attractive little plant. 

(sadly, my camera kept stopping throughout the tour or I'd have more photos--I'd say this is enough though! :) 

Snapping a photo of any tiny bit of purple I could find since our trip was a smidgey early in the year.

Meeting new homeschoolers at the end of the school year :)

 Describing the difference between the English and French plants.

 A little one enjoys one of Farmer Kevin's dogs.

 More tiny buds attract me.

 

Molly with the soon-to-bloom lavender in the background. 

 Meg under a locust tree. 

 Strolling through the fields.

 Listening to a lesson on hazelnut trees that Farmer Kevin just planted.

Sniffing lavender.

 

Farmer Kevin shows us the aviary--a non-living one--phew!

 The very busy, active one--zoomed in, of course :)

 What has happened to all the bees? He shares it's pesticides on local crops and rough winters because there was plenty of honey in the bee boxes. 

 Saving the bees that pollinate the very important lavender and other crops and plants.

Explaining all the parts of a bee box.

 

 The kids got to try on the bee suit. 

Looking for splashes of purple to satisfy my colour starvation :)

 Taste-testing the lavender honey and lavender caramel sauce.

Yummy!

Perusing the lovely little lavender shop.

Eventually, I did wash my hands, but not until we returned home and I sampled the honey I had bought. I think there is nothing so delightful as visiting a farm of any sort and relishing in its goodness. 

I couldn't stop humming...

Lavender's blue, 

Dilly dilly, 

Lavender's green,

When I am king, 

Dilly dilly,

 You shall be queen.