New Grandma

"I want a new grandma.", Emily stated quite matter-of-factly. I just stared at her searching my mind for something to say about appreciating the good ones she already has. She went on. "Great-Mama died so I need a new grandma".

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Such a chasm was left behind from the death of my grandma and her great-grandma. Being four, I didn't expect Emily to be affected this way. Besides, she still has grandparents on both sides who love her. All of the children have been reminiscing and even crying, but Emily is the one who seems to talk about the loss everyday.

My grandma was one of those ladies whom everyone felt was their own. Many non-family even called her, "Grandma". It's been almost two months since she passed away and we miss everything about her. Every time we have some news to tell, or we plan a trip, or the kids have a school project they want to share, we all think about her. We're getting used to stifling the urge to say, "Let's call Great-Mama and tell her all about it!". But should we? Should we try to forget so it's easier to deal with? At this point, we are living each day with the reality and sometimes even sitting and digging through our memories for details of her face and hands and the sound of her voice.

On days like this, when Emily reminds me again of our loss, I pull her up onto my lap, comfort her in an embrace and brush a tear from my own eye. Then she reminds me of something very important to people who are grieving, "It's okay, Mommy, we'll see her again in heaven!". I smile and squeeze that little body closer. "That's right, Babe, we will. You're very right."