Obedient Children--Is It Possible?

My sister sent me home from her house with a CD she had found very insightful. I couldn't listen to it in the van on the way home because Jonathan Park was instilling truths about creation in my children as they sat buckled and riveted. It wasn't until I carried a cup of Earl Grey to my computer several nights later, that I was opened up to the world of mom-to-thirteen-kids, Marilyn Boyer. Her message was called, "Obedience From The Heart" and as I listened, all the truths I already knew, just seemed a little more outlined, simple and doable to me. Here are a few of my notes, in case you are also incessantly seeking new ways to create a peaceful environment in your home...

-Obedience is doing what is expected with a willing and happy heart
-There are three facets to obedience: cheerfully, immediately and thoroughly
-If we really love our children, we train their hearts toward obedience
-To obey God is better than sacrifice
-We need to exchange our thoughts for God's thoughts because His ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55)
-our view point is so limited but God knows the big picture
-we need to trust Him and our children need to trust us
-home is the training ground for future faithfulness to God
-don't punish childishness or clumsiness, only disobedience (ie: spilled milk, experimentation of little ones)
-handle your children's hearts wisely, don't be a drill sergeant but be merciful like God is with us (the way God deals with us is a picture how we're supposed to deal with them)
-don't raise your voice
-don't correct your children in front of others
-don't give them opportunity to disobey you (ie: "If you don't eat your supper, you're going to be in trouble." They may decide they don't want to obey you. Instead say, "You don't have to eat your lunch but there will be no snacks until dinner.")
-it's better to miss an opportunity to correct your kids instead of wounding them
-how do they see your heart? If they know you have their best interests at heart, they won't be angry when disciplined.
-children were not given to us for our own convenience
-treat them with respect
-let them know they're the most important people to us
-when in training stage, they're learning self-control
-show them opposite qualities to what they're doing (ie: tattling--love)
-have a cconsequence chart so they know what to expect (ie:  if unkind to brother--do something nice for him, if irritate your sister, make her bed, etc.)
-Scripture is the only thing that will bring about true and lasting change and character in your child
-help them memorize verses that coincide with the character traits you're working on
-show honour to others--if we show it, they'll show it.
-expect different responses for different children 
-correct disobedience/defiance, disrespect, irresponsibility (not showing accountability for not following the result expected of them)

Children are in training. If we can remember this, we can relax a little more and be at peace knowing that we don't have to expect them to meet the goal of perfection every day. We don't reach it either and God extends grace toward us.

Gratitude:

825. resouces for frazzled moms
826. obedient and disobedient children
827. knowing that I'm in training as well
828. a husband who shares in the discipline
829. learning gentleness (and that His mercies are new every morning)
830. sisters and friends who are experiencing the same journey