Early Exposure

Just because there's nostalgia attached to something, doesn't make it good. I learned this the hard way when I purchased the first season of The Brady Bunch. I loved that show as a child, along with Gilligan's Island, and Little House On The Prairie. My kids excitedly put the DVD in the player while I worked around the house. I can't tell you how many times I waltzed in and out of the T.V. room and caught the word, "stupid" or tried to show my distaste for the name-calling or to mention how much arguing and fighting I was hearing from the show. "We don't talk like that to each other, right, Guys?", I would suggest. Why did it take me so long to call the DVD "off-limits"? Because I think, I was hoping each minute would be the last time I would hear something "offensive" and they would be able to enjoy it as I did. That didn't happen.

I believe there's good lessons in some of the old shows but I was disappointed that the very qualities we're working on with our children, such as kindness, gentle words, controlled reactions, and no fighting, were not being taught in the show. Yes, the Brady kids always forgive and change their attitudes in the end, but I don't think we can afford the influence of their words and actions while their trying to figure it all out. When I am daily disciplining the inappropriate use of bathroom words, I don't need any more added in there! When children are still young enough to have bad dreams about the mature themes of even Little House On The Prairie, I, as a mother, have to always be a protector of their little minds.

Perhaps other families seem to be handling these influences well, but I'm learning that we must limit our exposure. How about you? Have you experienced the same issue? Do you think later exposure is better... or none at all? "There's different rules for different families", I tell my children. Any thoughts out there?

Photo by Meghan, 11 yrs.

Plan Your Character For 2010

It's February and I've been thinking a lot about long term planning... at least for the year 2010. Organizing and setting goals is something many of us automatically do when the new year arrives but have you ever thought about planning your character? God's Word teaches us to trust the Lord and He will order our steps, guide us and make our paths straight. I don't believe this means that God wants us to live each day by the "seat of our pants" and hope He controls it for us.

Consequently, I have been thinking a lot about how much better my life would be if I planned my character like I plan a day or a week or a year. There are various ways our character can be shaped. Sometimes it's through trials and sometimes it's through a change in our lives. Sometimes it's simply by growing older. But, can our character be shaped by planning our reactions, responses, and attitudes? Knowing what God's Word says about what He requires of us and which qualities benefit our lives, could we actually plan to behave in these ways? There are ways in which I consistently stumble and I've worked at abolishing these characteristics for quite awhile. As I was reading Scripture recently, I became aware that in His infinite wisdom God gave us a way to reject the thoughts and reactions that come to us in a moment of sadness, anger or decision. I've worked on taking my thoughts captive but now I'm trying to plan to do it before the thoughts arise! I'm planning my responses to people and situations, as much as I can without knowing the future. I'm trusting the Lord for His blessing in my obedience in these areas and for His direction when I encounter a surprise. If I'm acknowledging Him in all my ways, how much more will I be able to be spirit-controlled?

As I read about how my Creator's views me, I understand that He desires to shape me into someone who is successfully able to fight against the attitudes that plague me and ultimately ruin my character, not to mention, my life. I'm actually writing down my negative characteristics and thinking about which situations cause these to rear their ugly heads. Through prayer and commitment to bring these things captive, I believe my character will be shaped in 2010. This is intentional living from which I can only benefit and I'm looking forward to the better character He has in store for me!

How about you? Are there things in your character you'd like to see changed this year? Can you plan your reactions and attitudes to predictable situations by bringing these thought captive to the obedience of Christ? (2Corinthians 10:5)

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

"I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." (Psalm 139:14)

We desire that our children grow to love themselves and be satisfied with how God has created them. We teach them by applauding their achievements, showering affection upon them, complimenting their beauty, intelligence and talents. But, do we, as mothers, live by example? Our children's most effective model is their parents. In a world that screams at women to change their appearance to achieve an impossible standard, we succumb to the torturous thought that we are not good enough, not thin enough, not pretty enough. Try as hard as we may, we cannot mask this deception from our daughters, especially, and if we believe the lie ourselves, we destroy our efforts of building our children up.

I have been convicted of this dissatisfaction recently and the Lord has been revealing my ineffective parenting as a result. My greatest hope for my children is that they grow to love God with all their hearts and share Him with others. It is very difficult to move toward this goal with the distraction of inadequacy lurking around every corner. I must first embrace God's great love for me, try to grasp His purpose in creating me exactly as I am, and enjoy the woman He's designed me to be, while working on my character. Doesn't that sound like words we tell our kids all the time? Why then, is it so hard for us as women to believe it? Perhaps someone once spoke negatively about us or our bodies and we've carried it with us. Perhaps our mothers communicated self-disapproval when we were growing up. Whatever the case, we must fight the debilitating consequence of giving in to the voices that whisper of our imperfections.

Have I ever mentioned that God is the source of all the answers you'll ever need? :) His Word is full of how He feels about us, how eternity is all that we should be living for, how people's hearts are more important to him than their outward appearance. If I, having been convicted, actually change my mindset (by His Holy Spirit), I can help save my children from feeling defeated as they grow and face the world. Lord, grant me the strength to do so.

The Mirror of God's Word

I was reading this morning about how God's Word is a mirror of His character, as well as, a mirror of our character. I tend to look at things through my own eyes but the mirror of Scripture helps me to see things so much clearer. Catherine Martin, in her book, Knowing and Loving the Bible says, "Feelings are like the caboose of a train that must be hitched to the engine of God's Word." (p.73) Isn't it good to know that there's a Greater Power who knows the beginning from the end? Someone who sees so much more than we see, so that we can relax in knowing that we don't have to figure it all out?

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

Isn't She Lovely?

She throws her hair toward the south

Bending frail and spiny frame

Foliage of lace quivering

Unforgiving winds to blame

Twisting limbs in growth unnoticed

Silent stretch to heaven's care

Bony fingers humbly opening

In her meager offering there.

by Heather

This is our Japanese Maple and I think her character is beautiful. As I was taking photos around our yard, I noticed her winding and twisting growth and it reminded me of how circumstances and pain can cause us to become a little bent over and worn on this journey called life. But as we reach heavenward and open our hands in trust to our Creator, we find sufficient grace for each new day. Our wounds, if offered to God, shape our character into something admirable.

A woman who knows the pain of a few broken limbs but stretches out her arms to the needy--isn't she lovely?