This Longest of Winters

She tosses black oil sunflower seeds out over her snowy yard from the porch and in seconds, feathered ones from every direction flutter in for their free lunch. I watch from the window and I know that even though this little ritual cheers her heart, this longest of winters is taking it's toll on her. My mom's injuries from the accident have continued to grip her like a thick icicle that won't let go. The surgeon says she won't get well unless she has  invasive surgery that will perhaps put her out for a year. There are other complications to it as well, and so she waits and prays and tries to decide what to do. In the meantime, she does her best to walk the icy roads for exercize, drive with trepidation, and clean her home in stages, as not to incur too much pain. 

 

A good, full winter with its extreme cold and mounds of snow is normally her favourite. My mom prays for snow and her grandchildren are reminded of her when they hear the song, "Let It Snow". But this time, the relentless harshness of the season has been discouraging. And so, we feed birds, take photos and thank the Lord for how He cares for us like He provides for them. She smiles, watches carefully and exclaims when the cardinals return. They didn't come all summer and now she has a splash of red in her dark winter--the cardinals, saved for such a time as this longest of seasons. Hope flies in and God whispers that He sees her in that little chair, gazing out the window into the bleakness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

More about her accident here.

Soccer Season

 

Warm nights, cheering fans, too-long grass, devotional break, sister-coach, and visiting parents... we love our Christian soccer league.

Last week, I sat in my lawn chair, sipping my tea and laughing (mostly) at my son's game. A bobbing, twirling pack of kiddos traveled with the ball, only one or two truly knowing their position. I did a quick check toward Emily's field since I'd be heading there next when suddenly, Oliver leaned right in my face and loudly exclaimed, "Mommy! You missed my goal!"

 

"Oh, Babe!" I cried, "I'm sorry! I'll watch every minute from now on." He ran off, satisfied with that answer and I quickly peeked to the right and the left, smiling sheepishly at the wide length of parents sitting along the sidelines.

 

Oliver slipped off the field for a drink and I let him know I'd be over at Emily's game and apparently, that was okay, as long as I never took my eyes off him while watching his game. I was relieved and looking forward to my husband joining me the next week, lol! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So Long, Spring

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Does this look like Spring?

We set off to the park because it looked like spring.

Even our robin friend returned...

and the daffodils are right on time.

But, Baby, it's still so cold outside.

Musings For The Season

Autumn is gently rolling in and our nursery wears the last of her summer garb. September brings so many beginnings; school, dance, choir, theatre, piano, Friendship Club, and more. I always have mixed feelings at this time of year. I mourn the loss of my favourite season and yet, I'm excited for what a new season brings.

Pilates is a beginning for me and this week as I stood in a "relaxed position" listening to the instructor describe the intricacies of our muscles, ligaments and bone structures, I welled up with tears. I was overwhelmed by the beauty of how our bodies were created. The words, fearfully and wonderfully made, waved through my mind over and over. With only four students in this intimate class, it was difficult to hide my emotions but I thought I should spare them at least another week :) Perhaps the day will come when I'll be able to share with these women who their Divine Creator is... unless they already know... we shall see.

Coming back to the "homeschool table", has also brought an intimacy that seemed to evade us with busy summer activities. I sit in a front row seat to the conversations of my children when we're all working closely. The amusement I have found as their audience gives me many anecdotes for after-dinner conversations with my husband. For instance, the older girls were trying to explain something to Emily after she had made a mistake. She declared to them, "I KNOW! I know everything!" They let it go as it was obvious that she was closed to learning the lesson. A few seconds later I felt a tug on my arm and Emily cupped her five year-old hand around my ear. I felt her warm breath as she whispered, "I don't really know everything (giggle) but I just said that."

Oh. :)

My son, likewise, has bewildered me with his brilliance. A few days ago, he very matter-of-factly stated that he knew exactly how to get rid of the monsters in his room. Wow! All three girls went through a stage where they believed there were monsters in their rooms, usually lurking somewhere on the wall or in a closet. They would often beg my husband and I to come and pray and then smoosh them all. We always told them that they didn't need to be afraid because their God is so much bigger and can defeat their enemies through prayer and praise. But my boy, well, he had quite confidently licked those stinkers all on his own!

I wondered how he had conquered the beasts he had lately grown to fear and so I asked him. I wish I had taken video footage to share with you the utterly vicious detail that ensued. With a twisted up face, he described the battle to me and it included a lot of nail scratching and clawing and just "getting that bad guy!" and "He won't be coming back anymore."

When he was done narrating, he grinned from ear to ear, waiting for my support for his victory. I grabbed my little warrior and squeezed him tight. I lavished my praises and pride on him and he soaked it up like a true soldier returning from a hard-fought battle. We talked about where his strength comes from, who the Super-hero is behind the powers of a boy-soldier. He agreed.

I was awestruck by the chasm of this gender difference in our family. It's wonderful.

So, while my oldest decides with me whether to keep her Language Arts program or switch to a new one, and my second daughter sharpens her fifth pencil before ten a.m., and my two little ones beg for a large fort to be built amongst our schoolwork, I muster patience, complain a little to my husband, and pray for courage for this year. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, I repeat to myself and... I believe this is what He's asking of me in this season. I choose love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control and welcome a new season.

Autumn Sparkles With Beauty

I shiver and wrap my cardigan across my heart. The cool air mixes with my breath and for the first time this season I can see it puff out in front of me. There is a smell of snow and although it may not come for many weeks, I can sense it. I feel a sigh escape my lips and I immediately repent. I'm a summer girl and the cold is not my friend. But there is a beauty that sparkles in this lovely time of year and I purposely notice it. I will embrace this season and the next with vigor and thank the Lord for the gift of His artwork in creation.

Changes in the Unchangeable

"As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease." (Genesis 8:22)

What a comfort. As summer turns to Autumn, I can trust that these changes will continue on and never change! Thank You, Lord. You are the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8).

So Unchanging

As the heat arrives, evidence of God's unchanging seasonal cycle unfolds. Spring turns into summer, which inevitably becomes fall, then winter. A couple thousand years ago these words were written, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." (Hebrews 13:8).

Although the world will not last forever, creation parallels Jesus' unchanging character, in that, He is predictable. He wants us to "search" Him and find out who He is so we can trust His character and see that He is immutable. When history causes us to be mistrusting, our hearts ache to know a perfect, loyal friend who will never forsake us.

When we come to know this Jesus, who is worthy of our trust, we can begin to release the past. If we truly trust that He has our best interests in mind, the control we work so hard to maintain will no longer be necessary. "When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" (Psalm 56:3,4).

Lord, You're so faithful and unchanging. Help me to trust in You fully so that I may walk in complete freedom.