Day Nine: Girl Talk

I backed myself slowly onto Sandee's couch because Ashanti's body lay limply over me, limbs hanging in deep-sleep-relaxation. The women around the room smiled at us but they were already into the heart of their conversation. We were a little late for our Girl Talk meeting but I knew I'd glean some wisdom if we came anyway. My dear friend, Sandee, whom I'd taught with before we started having babies, then homeschooling, had begun this little "club" for moms and daughters. It's goal is to draw us closer to one another while teaching about purity and God's design for girls. We commenced writing in secret encouragement journals to our daughters and they were writing back. Sandee invites a special speaker some nights and last month's mom had older daughters, who'd been through the growing years together, and together they qualified as beautiful mentors for us and our girls. They shared their mistakes and their joys, their epiphanies about motherhood and their unrealistic expectations. It's been a sweet experience.

my "baby" girls

(on a sweaty hike :)

 

The mom who shared last night was weeping through her story, not because of its sad elements, but because of how far God had brought her from being a bulimic to a loving, non-judgmental mother who adores her girls and is careful to remind them how loved they are by God--no matter what. I looked down at the little one in my arms, her journey just beginning, and yet she'd been through so many changes already. I'm forever whispering prayers over her and in that moment, I realized how very crucial my influence is in her life, even though she's not my own. I shifted underneath her and her sweaty head flopped on my other shoulder. The woman spoke of finally "getting" who God was in her later years, after being raised in a Christian home. She said it was like the words of the Bible jumped out at her for the first time. She was so excited to understand that God accepted her with all her failures and poor choices. That's exactly the knowing I hoped my girls would embrace as they grow, this little one included.

sweet girls

 

The woman wrapped up her talk and we all shared homemade goodies and more conversation--us mommas, each striving to raise godly girls while sometimes lacking in godliness ourselves. We watched a short video about the evolution of the swimsuit. The message the Lord revealed through the whole evening was that His mercy is beyond our comprehension. It was a love memo I know well, but tucked in my heart pocket for further pondering. I slipped Ashanti into her car seat and the other kids clicked their belts. As we pulled away, I called back to my children, "Hey girls, do you know how God feels about you?"

Keeping All Her Petals

My oldest daughter is a part of a girls' group from church called "Blue Cord". The title represents the blue cord that was to be sewn into the garments of the Israelites and then into the garments of each generation following.

The LORD said to Moses, "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'Throughout the generations to come you are to make tassels on the corners of your garments, with a blue cord on each tassel. You will have these tassels to look at and so you will remember all the commands of the LORD...' (Numbers 15:37-39)

Last week, the girls' teen aged leader, Angela, gave each of them a flower and spoke with them about purity. The flower represents the gift they will someday give their husbands. She shared that as they grow up and become interested in boys, they will need to be strong in their decision to remain pure. With each relationship they develop with a boy, whether it be emotional or physical, they lose another petal from their symbolic flower. Rather than teach them how to become a better mate, these relationships tear parts of their hearts away. Perhaps their hearts will be broken more than once or they will learn to mistrust. Finally, when they meet the one they will spend the rest of their lives with, they have very few, if any, petals left on their flower. They cannot be completely whole and no longer have 100% of themselves to give to the one who will always be with them.

Thankfully, there is a beautiful and encouraging gift when God restores the petals that have perhaps already been pulled off. He always has an answer for those who make their decision to be pure later in life. Regret may be there but He never requires His girls to walk in shame. Many know the pain of "practicing" with others before settling down for life. The memories of those relationships often still sting a small place (or a large place!) inside. Our prayer for our daughters is that they won't know this pain but will develop into whole and strong women who are able to give the gift of a flower with all of its petals.

Now, would someone please volunteer to begin a group like this for boys?