Little Us

Grade One Terry

 Grade One Heather
 

We always wonder how many times we crossed paths as children. Living in adjacent cities, knowing some of the same families, my parents shopping now and then at his family nursery... it's possible. I'd love to watch a fast-forwarded video of our lives to see if we ever had a "moment" in passing before officially meeting in grade eleven.

Gratitude:

1540. my Valentine and how the Lord knew waaaay back then that we'd wound each other but love each other fiercely and how He'd redeem it all with His love

1541. how He saved my love letters in his cheque book for years

1542. how He smothers our kids with affection

1543. how He's always told me I'm beautiful and He loves me

1544. the way his eyebrow quivers when he's not sure what to say

1545. how we all swaddled him with our arms when he returned from Holland last week

1546. how he raves about my cooking

1547. they way he has kept our date night consistent since we were 18!

1548. how he loves teaching math to our kids and how they perch on the arm of his chair for the lesson

1549. the way he precisely plows our driveway

1550. how he brings home flowering plants for our kitchen table

1551. his involvement in our church

1552. how he asks me what matches on Sundays or when he's going on a trip

1553. his heart for men trapped in the junk that ruin families

1554. when he prays for me and with me

I love you, my Valentine. Be mine for 60 more? XO  

Flying Tandem

It's a little place where he can fly and I can take photos of things that fly. We work in tandem, mostly in silence, and it's tranquil and satisfying for both of us.

We discovered something that we both can do together without having to be doing the exact same thing. There are a few activities we both enjoy but sometimes it's gratifying just to be in each other's presence without a word. Recognizing that we have different interests was obvious, blending our hobbies into oneness was a little tougher. Is there something you and your spouse can do to be together so that you're both enjoying each other side by side? Pray for God to reveal a way in which you can fly tandem.

Eighteen Years

The waitress, who said we must have married when we were ten (lol), doesn't know how our secret. She even asked, but other tables called her away to her duties. We chuckled as she flitted here and there, trying to catch bits and pieces of our conversation in this riverside restaurant my husband surprised me with. It's been eighteen years and the secret to our joy is that we've given our lives to Jesus; not just once, but every day.

Terry and I have faced very hard times in our marriage. We've been able to mentor young couples because we understand the angst and confusion that come with life as newlyweds, young parents, entrepreneurs, and humans. We could have thrown in the towel a time or two. But we're not about to because life is not about the next best thing. It's about loving the one God created for you and sticking it out.

Need a second chance because your marriage didn't turn out this way? Your God is a mighty and gracious forgiver. He's a mender of broken hearts and your plan B can be better than you can imagine. For those of you still toughing it out in plan A, be encouraged. It's worth it all when you place Jesus as number one in your marriage. Are you the only one in the relationship putting Jesus there? Continue to persevere, my friend. Your God-honouring lifestyle will draw your partner. May God bless our marriages as we seek Him in all our daily living.

What Kind Of Wife Are You?

It's coming September 30th and we've all been waiting. The movie, Courageous, is finally being released in theatres here in Canada and we're looking forward to the miracles that will undoubtedly occur in men around the country. You see, we women are always looking for a way to slip that book or movie to our husbands. That Scripture verse that reminds them that they're not measuring up in the "Spiritual Headship" department. Perhaps they're mediocre fathers. And they'll come to view this movie, if we can get them out the door, and they will be changed. I'm confident in God's purpose and power in this venue.

But a close friend of mine, who had seen the premiere and raved about it said to me, "Now, who is going to be brave enough to make a movie about bossy and self-righteous wives?!"

We can all step back and take inventory of our wifely character. Some are humble and mature and if you're one of those women, this post isn't for you! (but you would do well to find one of the women I write about and mentor them, please!). If the rest of us are truly honest about how we treat our husbands, what we demand of them and how we fight to prove how right we are, we'll have to admit that every inch of it is sin. Oh, how we want it to be all about them!

I lived with this attitude for many years. At 17 years of marriage, I can say that the Lord has had to discipline me lovingly (albeit the hard way) to become more Christ-like. Man, were they some tough lessons! I praise God that I can stand on the other side of that attitude and recognize the ugliness. Do I fall back into that behaviour and thinking? Yes, sometimes, but I notice it immediately, and if I'm allowing the Holy Spirit to be my guide, I quickly repent and God graciously redeems.

As wives, all we desire is to have loving and fulfilling relationships with our husbands. We desire affection and a feeling of being cherished by them. We want to know they are growing closer to God so that they can lead us in a godly way. Deep down, we don't want to be the boss! Sadly, the very thing we desire, we tear down the possibility with our own hands (Proverbs 14:1). However, past hurts cause us to become control-freaks or, in some cases, we believe we must take over because our husbands are too weak to lead. Obviously, I can't deal with layers of issues in one small post but what I do know is that I've been there and God's grace has set me free! I'm no longer the woman and wife I once was. He can set you free as well and help you to understand your role and how to give your husband to Him to take care of. God desires even more than you to see your husband become the man he's meant to be. My husband can attest to this as well and has been moved incredibly by the Lord, and the change in me made it a whole lot easier for him!

I once heard in a message on marriage that  instead of controlling and changing our husbands, our job is to help them hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" Is that your goal today? Or do you behave as though your man was put on this earth to make you happy and secure? What kind of wife are you? May the Lord open your eyes as you seek His face. May He bless you as you allow yourself to be humbled and changed in a powerful and wonderful way that actually works for you so much more than what you're currently experiencing.

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.  Proverbs 14:1