Big Baby

She keeps reminding us that she's nearly an adult, but we don't believe her. We see a toddler when she turns and flashes a cheeky grin. We see a little girl aching to become a ballerina when she twirls into the living room. We see a child who's just trying out her new bicycle when she sits all big in that driver's seat in the truck. Nope, we're not convinced. She's still young and dependent and just dreaming of being grown up. It can't really be happening, can it? She turned 17. But that's just a number. Our big baby still likes being carried and we choose to disagree that this kid, of whom we are so proud, is nearly an adult. 

Happy birthday, Big Baby. We love you :)

Day Nineteen: Praying Kids

Her beaded hair braids click, click, click as she wiggles and tosses around in her little white toddler bed. I tuck the blankets up under her chin and cocoon her all the way down her tiny figure. Maybe that will hold her for a minute. Wishful thinking. I tell her its time to pray and she folds her hands, and with legs bursting from the chrysalis she begins in that raspy voice, "Dear Jesus, please help Mommy to feel better (That's me). Please help Emily to get her pyjamas on. Please help Oliver to play with the ball. Please help Mommy to buy soap. (That's Valerie.) God bless Daddy and Meghan and me and..." (lists a few more people) After a pause, I say, Amen, and she echoes that. She doesn't need to open her eyes because they've already been darting all over the room. I'm smiling because I'm walking down that lane of memories where four other little voices piped out darling, innocent chats with God. She's sliding her pyjamas up her leg to scratch an itch and babbling a story about the day. I'm silently praying she'll take this practice of prayer and make it her own one day.

Indoctrination? Oh, yeah! Why? Because when you believe with all your heart that Jesus is God's Son and that He died and was resurrected and lives today, you want to pass that hope onto your children. When He's held you through trials and spoken to you in your confusion to lead you in a way you couldn't see, you don't want those kids to miss out. When you know their futures will hold fabulous moments and painful challenges, you desire nothing less than the God of their universe be close to them and that they trust in Him. They will each stand at a crossroads one day and decide whether or not this communion with the Almighty did any good. I know for a fact they will say, yes. Praying kids become praying adults, and that's my great expectation.

Day Twenty-Nine: Is There Anyone Out There?

Is there anyone out there whose laundry is over-flowing

Is there marker on the walls that got there 

without you knowing?

Do you make dinners that your children push away

Do you shove stuff in closets 

When company comes to stay?

Is there anyone out there who can't find her keys

Who reminds her child a thousand times 

You must say, "thank you" and "please"?

If anyone is out there who can relate to these few woes

Rest assured you're among many

Moms who aren't always on their toes.

But it doesn't matter, dear Momma, because

Under chaos and frustration

Abides deep love.

Kissing knees and late night talks are worth the moment taken

Because little ones grow up and please

Don't ever be mistaken.

If there is anyone out there who feels overwhelmed today

Let two important goals be her guide:

Hug your babies and pray!

                                                             by: Heather Vanderkruk

 

Day Seven: Stretching Our Children

I was a shy child. I had plenty of friends, but I was shy with adults, sometimes painfully. I hated it when my mom made me call the pizza place, or pay for an item by myself in a store, or without warning, roll down my car window and get me to stop someone and ask for directions. She didn't just push me out of my comfort zone, she busted the bars off my self-protective little cell. Now, I am certain her encouragement toward confidence was coupled with prayer for me. Those prayers took that shy kid and grew her up and caused her to do the same for her own children. Overcoming the fear of talking to adults moved me to independence and eventually to large group public speaking several times!

 

It is this gentle nudging (or occasionally shoving) my little birds to step out of the comfort of the nest  that actually gives them the security that they really can soar. About a year ago, Meg thanked me for helping her to become a strong person. She felt that a no-nonsense approach, mixed with love was what stretched her and allowed her to face her fears when it would have been easier to run the other way.  I learned from my mom--I can't do it alone--and I wouldn't dare. The joy of the Lord is their strength. He is their refuge and strength. His name is a strong tower and they are safe when they run to Him. I tell them this so they don't have to be afraid that they are alone in any intimidating ventures. And so, it is with some trepidation and lots of prayer, that my children sing solos, play lead roles in dramas, give speeches and step in when Grandma is not well and play the piano for Friendship Club worship time :)

Our last Friendship night of the year so a proud momma had her camera ;)

 

Some little souls might need a more gradual approach as they step into independence, and that's okay. Each Momma must pray for God to reveal just how much stretching their children should sustain as they grow and learn. As they age and hear God's voice for themselves and discover His plan for them, I pray they'll be equipped to say yes, with assurance. Public speaking and solos are not the calling for every child, however, I encourage my children to accept what is requested of them as service to Jesus and their community. I'm thankful that in my experience, a little push goes a long way in creating kiddos who eventually exclaim, "I can do it!" or "I'll try!"

 

Grandpa asked Meg to learn about six songs in 2 hours (because in my husband's family, they push from the nest too :)  She was nervous and didn't think it would go well, but she told me she wanted to add this to her list of tough things she has tried. It was worth saying yes. A few bumps ensued, but nevertheless, a great job and a room full of developmentally challenged people clapped hard and proudly for her :) 





The Clock Will Strike Midnight...

I will dance with Cinderella while she is here in my arms,

 Cuz I know something the prince never knew. 

I will dance with Cinderella;

 I don't wanna miss even one song, 

Cuz all too soon the clock will strike midnight... 

and she'll be gone.

Steven Curtis Chapman 

Cinderella jewelry box from Mama

She turned sixteen and I became hyper-aware that my time with her is slipping through my fingers. Moments of tension or simply busy days cause me to wince a little more because life as I know it with my big girl is fleeting. As God redeems the time and I focus carefully on intentionally loving this kiddo just as she needs me to, her memories of home will be sweet. He'll use the questionable parenting moments for her good as she gives herself to Him and understands He has a purpose for her. His protection and provision for her will come to light in her mind. All of our mistakes will fade as she recognizes the brightness of God's perfect parenting like a screen in front of it all. I don't have to fear that in my humanness I've "spoiled" her, even though I lay my head down sometimes and regret that conversation, that allowance I shouldn't have given in to. I don't have to regret when I was too harsh. He forgives, she forgives, I am free to begin again and she will use it all to become an even more fabulous person.

The faces she makes me do!

Our prayers for her will and are coming to fruition and this girl, this young woman, is teaching me what it's like to love and let go. Man, can she really be an extension of me and yet be so very different? Her own person? I've denied it for so long. She's all God's and I'm thankful to have the privilege of watching Him raise her along the way, grateful He forgives my errors and celebrates when I'm in line with His will. 

Now a recipient of Blessing Day, instead of one of my givers :)

She's got her own style.

Finally reading the letter she's waited for since she was a tiny girl.

"Aunt" Linette wrote it for her about when I was 16 and she couldn't open it until that very birthday! Linette was my best friend in highschool and she knew a lot about me. She felt Meg needed to know that me :)  A very precious keepsake!

Family tradition on birthday nights: ice cream at Yogurty's

A few of my kiddo's friends, who happened to be standing around after our morning service. 

They call her "the Albino" ;)

God bless you this year, my ever-loved oldest girl. You make me so thankful to be your momma. Truly, you teach me how to stay on my toes and how to relax and let things go. I love you and pray this is your best year yet!

Eight-ness

This eight year-old boy is not unlike other little guys out there in that he is full of spunk and sport. However, this kid of ours is the one I held in my belly and prayed for while he squirmed inside. He does not pass by the armchair in the living room without jumping from the back of it into a handstand. And, he does not slip into bed at night without a kiss to his mommy. He won't relent on a good argument with his sisters, when he feels justified, but give him the opportunity and he will cheerfully cook them eggs for breakfast. He wants recess more than spelling, but craves art above all subjects. This boy can erect any Lego set and carries around his bucket of tools, begging me to find him things to fix. He has many friends and approaches kids on the fringe and asks if they want to play.

 

This sensitive, energetic boy is mine and he is a gift for all my birthdays and Christmases. His eight-ness will be greatness as he learns and grows this year. The Lord knew exactly what we needed when He gave us Oliver.

 

braving the -8 degrees Celsius weather at his birthday party!

double cousin hug

 

 hockey party 

another year under his belt!

 

Happy Birthday, our creative, lovable boy. May God grow you to be a mighty warrior for Him. May you always respond to His voice as He speaks to you.

Dear Children

Dear Children,

The days seem long, don't they? But you'll be growing up and you'll look back and feel like childhood was actually such a small piece of your life. You'll have responsibilities that are big and important. You'll be venturing out on your own and caring for others through your work, your ministries, and your own families. You might wonder where the carefree days disappeared to as you struggle to understand a suffering world and how you can be an agent of change for God.

(hand-holding as they walk? unprompted and unaware of me--love it)

As your mother, I'm endeavoring to lengthen your days, teaching you to drink life in, worship the Creator and notice the tiny details of His world. Our life isn't perfect but you're learning to love each other and to remember Who is guiding you. You already have compassion for others. I'm thankful for that. I love these times we are living through together, and so I jot down your funny sayings and your inquisitive conversations with me. I snap photos of your growing bodies and changing faces. I want to remind you one day how blessed and lovely these days were--the preparatory days.

The Bible says the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. I'm praying that you will always have a healthy fear of Him, that you'll hear His voice and obey it--that I'll obey it, as I walk this road with you. I'm so grateful for Daddy, who also joins me in creating a loving and disciplined youth for all of you. When you see me mess up this parenting thing, know that I'm human and flawed and that I still love you and am seeking forgiveness from the Lord and from you, to begin again. It's that wisdom from Him that leads me to be able to do this.  

 

I pray that mentors will come alongside you as you journey. The Lord sent me many, and if I humbled myself to take their advice, my path seemed so much easier. One such mentor was my mom, your "Mama". She taught me to have a relationship with Jesus and to love people fiercely. Embrace this heritage and that of your other grandparents too and you won't lose your way. God gave them to you as examples of how to carry out His purposes and to help your fellow humans. They do this well.

 

 

When life gets tough, and it will, remember we were never promised things would always be easy, only that God would carry us in His arms. If you never let go of that knowledge, you'll feel Him, actually feel His arms tangibly around you when you're unable to understand why you're encountering hardship. I know this because I've been there. I believe I could feel Him in moments of despair because of my history of practicing prayer, worship, writing down thanksgiving and answers to prayer.  I was taught to remind myself when life was easy that God is good. As a result, I simply knew it as truth when life wasn't easy. 

I love you, my "babies". You're growing up so quickly. Sometimes I stop in my busyness and just stare at you and whisper gratitude that you're mine. I'm sorry I don't always articulate this to you, but it's true. You're talented, beautiful, kind and already fulfilling your purposes on earth, as God reveals them to you. Young people are valuable and being used by God too! May you always love the Lord with all your hearts and love your neighbor as yourself.

I adore you, every one of you.

Love, Mommy

 

 

Little Us

Grade One Terry

 Grade One Heather
 

We always wonder how many times we crossed paths as children. Living in adjacent cities, knowing some of the same families, my parents shopping now and then at his family nursery... it's possible. I'd love to watch a fast-forwarded video of our lives to see if we ever had a "moment" in passing before officially meeting in grade eleven.

Gratitude:

1540. my Valentine and how the Lord knew waaaay back then that we'd wound each other but love each other fiercely and how He'd redeem it all with His love

1541. how He saved my love letters in his cheque book for years

1542. how He smothers our kids with affection

1543. how He's always told me I'm beautiful and He loves me

1544. the way his eyebrow quivers when he's not sure what to say

1545. how we all swaddled him with our arms when he returned from Holland last week

1546. how he raves about my cooking

1547. they way he has kept our date night consistent since we were 18!

1548. how he loves teaching math to our kids and how they perch on the arm of his chair for the lesson

1549. the way he precisely plows our driveway

1550. how he brings home flowering plants for our kitchen table

1551. his involvement in our church

1552. how he asks me what matches on Sundays or when he's going on a trip

1553. his heart for men trapped in the junk that ruin families

1554. when he prays for me and with me

I love you, my Valentine. Be mine for 60 more? XO  

Autumn Tradition and Growing Up

She sits there all teenager-ish on the wagon ride, sipping her hot chocolate, and I am distinctly aware that they're all seeming a lot older than usual. We visit this place almost yearly but this time all my children sit quietly, bumping along, arms resting on the rails, pointing out pumpkins and brilliant leaves shining in the sunlight. This time there were no tantrums in the corn maze, or crying because of the cold temperatures, or falling from the hay bales. There was only one bathroom break and one moment of begging for a treat. It's not until I'm at a location that I frequent only once every few seasons that the disparity between who they were last fall and who they are now is obvious.

I stand at the opening of the corn maze and in one minute they all race out exclaiming this is way too easy now and how the riding toys are too little. We just may be out-growing this place but I still savour the aroma of the freshly baked pies, choosing pumpkins and apples and taking photos in the crisp air. And as we load up our goodies and pile into the truck at the end of the afternoon, one by one they call out, "Thank you, Mommy for taking us!". I pull out of the driveway of this nostalgic farm and I'm thinking about how much they're growing up but also, how much this autumn tradition is still a sweet thing.