The Great Purge

There is great loss and fantastic relief all wrapped up in one push into the donation bin. It's the purge of clutter and stuff and piles of things so unnecessary to the well-being of my family. I suppose that makes it not such a great loss. My sister and I are holding each other accountable this month in a 21 bags in 21 days purge of our homes. Why 21 days? The number simply derived from the fast I do every January to begin my year. I told my sister that along with food this month, I desired to fast "stuff" too. It's like a cleansing on the inside and out. So far, the Lord has taught me a few lessons concerning entitlement and hoarding any material items. They might seem like big bad words but He and I know exactly where those issues lie. Just as He is moving in me and through me, my home is going to reflect the cleansing. So far, about 16 bags have left my house and my school shelves are de-cluttered and organized. This is a monumental task, my friends. Ah, January is so good for getting rid of the old and on with the new. So thankful God's grace covers all the junk... but then reveals it for a good clean-up in His timing--and, when I'm most receptive.  

The kids' schoolwork bins (bottom right) are back in regular use. You can see clearly that "chucking" books into their bins is so much easier than lining things up nicely. Neat doesn't always last but I'm learning that "less" makes it simpler to deal with! This may look like a lot of books but I did remove about half of them. Yep, took me nearly nine years of homeschooling to get the concept :)

 

While my sister and I both entered into the Great Purge, I was met each morning by an encouraging email reminder to stick with it... along with a little update on how her removal of junk was coming along. Below is one of my favourites. Is it any wonder why I chose her as my accountability partner? :)

 

bag 2 was actually a box.  Where the heck are all my bags?  can't find one.

anyhow, I filled a box with crystal ... who even knew I owned any???? 
Apparently the upper cupboards in the kitchen ACTUALLY housed some
things and those doors are not simply decorative, I'd led myself to
believe.  Things you learn.  Those cupboards are kind of the kitchen
wasteland of household items.  The black hole of things you never use. 
The Bermuda Triangle of crap. Somehow, without realizing it, i have
amassed FOUR vases ... what?  THREE crystal serving bowls ... um, I
have serving bowls? ... a brie oven proof pot (for all those MANY times
i've needed to melt brie???? ... and about 5 mason jars full of random
baking supplies that are likely 4 years out of date.  (Disgustingly,
this did not stop my offspring from each getting a handful of the OPENED
icing that had been in there for an indeterminate amount of time and
shoving it into their mouths before I noticed.  Botulism, anyone????)

This begs the questions .... #1 - Who the heck BOUGHT all this stuff? 
and #2 -  HOW ON EARTH has all. this. crap. escaped discovery on my MANY
previous purges????  It's a mystery.

Don't forget to do your bag today.

 

Day Twenty-Eight: Homeschooling When You Don't Want To

He stood over our bed, kissed me and I rolled over and snuggled deeper into the duvet.

 

 "Isn't it 'Take-Your-Kids-To-Work Day'?" I moaned and peeked with one eye open at the digital clock. It was 6:44 a.m. and getting out of my warm burrow was inevitable.

 

My husband laughed and whispered, "See you at breakfast."

 

Breakfast means "around 11 a.m." because the math teacher, a.k.a. Daddy, likes to check in on the kids' work, especially math. He uses the short time he's home for meals to quickly teach a concept so the kids' can carry on in their weekly lessons. This morning, I was not up for having math completed by 11, or English, or... anything else. I pulled the blankets up over my head and promised myself that if I could just have ten more minutes, I'd cheerfully hop out of bed and dance my way into the day. But that didn't happen... and the rest of the morning was less than a dance.

 

 

Do you ever have those days when you don't like who you feel yourself becoming? I mean, those days when your intentions are good but that last blog post you wrote that sounded so diligent, and that friend you helped to get back on her feet, and that promise you made to your husband just strangely seem so unlike the person you're hearing in the sergeant's voice? I yelled for my son to get into the schoolroom for the fifth time and I forgot the laundry overnight and it started to smell. I impatiently brushed past a child who was trying to show me her new story and I answered the phone after 9 a.m.. Line all those deficiencies in a row and you've got a wall that seems impenetrable for change.

 

 

So, what do you do when you just don't want to homeschool? My sister thought of this topic for me to write about (knowing many moms can relate, I'm sure) and I exclaimed in a return text, "Yes! Good one!" But quickly texted her back, "Okay, now what? What's the answer?"

 

She texted her reply, "crazy man date".

 

What? Hmmm... perhaps she should go on a crazy date in order to get her energy back to homeschool? I wondered.

 

A few minutes later she returned with, "Sorry, typo. I meant, Christ's mandate."

 

Well, that makes more sense... I think :)

 

Essentially, that is key. But first, I need to sit and ponder for a moment why I am feeling this way. Is it lack of sleep? Is it poor time management that inescapably creates a day of chaos? Is it lack of quiet time with God? Do we need a change in routine? Do we need to maintain our routine better? Has disciplining the kids gotten away from me and I'm dreading the pandemonium that ensues as soon as one thing goes wrong? Have I not experienced enough adult time? Once I am able to pinpoint the source of the problem, I can begin to yield to God to give me some creative and practical ways to rescue our day and my attitude. I don't want guilt to be the motivation for getting up in the morning when God can give me joy!

Accountability for these areas that affect homeschooling is very important. Whether it's my spouse, my conscientious friend, or my children's needs, I must answer to someone so I don't slip into apathy and laziness. My heart desires to know what Jesus requires of me above all. He spoke so often of how to treat others. Ultimately, we are to share God's love and bring others to Christ (Matthew 28:15-20). Do I do that daily with my children? Am I even capable? Isn't that what got me in this mood in the first place--feeling like I can't do it, that I don't want to do it? Our pastor spoke this Sunday of Jesus' sermon on the mount and how it's impossible for us to live up to it completely but that it's a picture of who God is and an example for us as we walk this temporary journey called life. When I finally stop ranting and come to a place of introspection and softness to God's voice, I usually sense the Lord reminding me He's with me and will help me do this homeschooling thing, one day at a time. He never leaves me floundering (or under the covers) for too long.

The following Scriptures always encourage me that there is hope for my apathy, fear, frustration, and laziness--and they hold me accountable!

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

 

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12

 

Gregory Lang says, "Although saved, we remain imperfect people who continue to be tempted by our sinful nature. Do not take salvation for granted and act as though you are unchanged. Train yourself to be godly, obey the Word, and rise above your nature, demonstrating your renewal so that others may wish to follow your example. Obedience to God is the sign of your sheer delight and a joy-filled thankfulness for your salvation. Hold yourself accountable."

 

Yes, holding myself accountable, with the help of an almighty and omniscient God!

 

 

 

 

Day Four: Teach Them Diligently

The kettle boils and I walk with my tea to the laundry room where I fold a load. The phone rings and although I've made a resolution not to answer after 8:30 a.m., I pick it up anyway. The person on the other end is crying and I'm drawn in and the kids are taking turns riding by me on the Lil Tykes grocery cart. I'm calling to them to quiet down. I cover the phone and blast them through a huge breath, "Shouldn't you be doing your math?" I have a knot in my gut as I'm pulled in two different directions. That nagging, guilty feeling rises upward, suffocating me and I realize this has happened a couple of days in a row... and, I hadn't met with the Lord that morning either--tell-tale signs of that one happening all over the place.

By lunchtime, there are still two kids in pyjamas and one can't find her spelling book. I'm losing my patience and that friend on the phone--well, she's on her way over for more support. I'm bustling around tidying up and promising myself tomorrow will be better.

  

By evening, I've gotten angry that I have to make dinner early as we have weekly obligations to run to and as I lay my head on my pillow that night, I cry. I turn my face into my pillow and beg God to reveal what went wrong. One thing about a prayer like that is, if we're open, He answers quickly. I quietly weep and He gently shows me where I went astray. Not that spontaneity, as I shared about yesterday was the problem, not that dropping everything for a friend in need was either, but it was the deference from my goals and ground rules that stole my peace and joy. 

 

I've been at this home educating thing long enough to know exactly what my children need, what I need and how to make things flow smoothly in our home. Children love boundaries, they love schedules and routine and they flourish in predictable days. They also love spontaneous moms who are flexible and not so tied to rules and schedules that they can't break them... once in awhile. With this knowledge, I set goals for myself and for them at the beginning of each year. I write up schedules for each of them and ask my husband, a couple close friends and sisters to hold me accountable. But when I don't want to leave the warmth of my bed or have my feet to hit the cold floor early in the morning, when I don't meet with the One who encourages me, speaks to me and sends me lovingly into my day, I might flounder.

 

  

 

When I look back over the years, I can see the mercy of God, despite the odd bad day. My children are all reading, they can quote Scripture and poetry. They're all moving forward in math at a good pace. They have a love for books and being read to. My openness about my day to day struggle to get myself and my children motivated is not to put myself down or to give the impression that every day is a failure. Instead, my desire is to encourage homeschool parents that although we all have less than productive days, our children will learn as we work to correct and change those moments into life lessons, apologies and the catalyst to get "back in the saddle" without delay.

So, what does a great day look like around here? Mommy gets up early, communes with her Creator, realizes she can't do it alone, throws a load of laundry in, cracks some eggs in a pan, hugs each child as they wake, encourages them in their chores, and meets them in the school area to begin on time. Ah, the good life! Every one of us loves a day that begins as such. Even when Oliver doesn't want to read another page, when Molly wants to finish her art instead of begin history, when Emily would rather wrestle with Oliver, when Meghan is dying to FaceTime a friend, I can rally them and bring them back into focus quickly because we began well. Children really do want to be smart, they want to succeed and they are often happy to please when they understand what it's all for in the first place. I can offer them a good education when I'm prepared and I have begun well myself. 

If you nod your head with me that you also have moments (or full days) when things just don't go the way you'd planned, might I be the inspiration to keep you diligent? Let's stay focused and teach them well in 2014!

 

A New Year and 31 Days of Homeschooling Goodness

Happy New Year!

Day One

 

On this first wonderful, blank-slate day of January, I would like to dedicate it to the Lord and His purposes. As our Pastor Fraz mentioned last Sunday, we had everything we needed in 2013 to live our lives for God. It doesn't mean we received everything we desired, but we had all we required to live in the place He planted us at that time in our lives. Jesus is what we needed and as He lives in us through His Spirit, He enables us to accomplish what we must. All I lack is found complete in Him. And so, in 2014, I pray that as I homeschool, mother, work, and love those around me, I will do it all for His glory and by His power in me.

I will begin by stating that while we are in our eighth year of homeschooling, we are by no means perfect at this educational thing. I taught in private Christian schools before I became a mommy but as I journeyed through home education, I have felt extremely inadequate for this position many, many days and it has, at times, been more difficult to teach my own four than a classroom full of other people's children! I found that my girlfriends and sisters were doing a much better job in some areas than I was. I noticed they didn't have the same perfectionist hope to recreate a classroom environment and that made a world of difference. Snuggling with their kiddos on the couch or gathering around the kitchen table was all that was necessary for good teaching and togetherness. I hope this encourages anyone who is considering homeschooling and feeling like they are not "cut out for the job". It's simply not true. If you are a parent and you have a desire, or at least a nudging toward homeschooling, the Lord has equipped you with the love, patience, self-control and everything else you need to succeed in the adventure! Mostly, because He is the answer if we rely on Him throughout the year. Yes, there are mistakes that can be made but I can tell you honestly, as a certified teacher, I (and my colleagues) were making plenty of them at school as well. No one is perfect, but I'm convinced now more than ever that a mother who loves her children and desires to train and educate them well, will succeed. There are so many resources, groups, co-ops, field trips, conventions, seminars, websites, etc. for homeschoolers, so a great support system is available to you.

In the past seven to eight years, our family has experienced a closeness that I am so thankful for. My children call out, "I love you!" to each other from their bedrooms many nights, even if they encountered conflict that day. However, since we are together for all hours of the day, the sins that we struggled with while the oldest two were in traditional school are magnified at home. Some days, impatience and frustration, laziness and whining can be the biggest things we're dealing with. There have been several days in our schooling time span when I wondered why I ever decided to embark on this path. But, the benefits always outweigh the negatives and when all is calm and I look around the room at my (finally) diligent workers, I sigh relief and remember that I am blessed to teach my children and they truly are learning to love deeply, resolve arguments and study independently. Not to mention, some of that laziness and whining can be mine :)

I will do my best to post our everyday life this month, which will mostly be accountability for me, and I love to have somewhere to leave my thoughts at the end of the day. I hope that as my children look back on this blog (I print it in hardcover through Blog2Print), that they will smile at the memories, even the reminders of some honest and difficult moments that God walked us through. For those who are not homeschoolers, or planning to join this growing educational movement, I hope you'll enjoy the posts anyway :)

May you understand fully what God has called you to do in 2014 and may you feel encouraged that you have all you need to accomplish it in Him!

 

Here are some "old" photos from the beginning of our homeschooling journey. As I gaze at them, I'm taken back to some tough times and some beautiful triumphs. I'm grateful for both.

 

1486. biggers helping littles

 

1487. the beauty of having a newly-turned two-year old and a newborn

 

1488. how Great-Mama always joined us for our homeschooling adventures

1489. how observing mommy nursing had it's effects :)

  

1490. how my sister's farm gave them so much scope for the imagination and a joy for working

 

1491. so much painting happened in the school room--even though it was messy!

 

1492. how reading to siblings always melted my heart

 

1493. the way they made their "home" in snowbanks

1494. for Florida trips and how we weren't tied to a schedule to return

 

1495. and how they brought us all closer

 

1496. for dear friends who ended up homeschooling!

 

1497. how these four became my favourite students

 

1498. how little girls learned how to "mother" while at home longer hours

 

1499. special rides as a reward on Auntie Hilary's horse after working on a project together

 

1500. schooling at friends' homes in their schoolroom!

 

1501. being inspired by the differences between families

 

1502. learning about endangered animals up close and personal where they're being rescued

  

1503. these two and how they've always stayed close

 

1504. recess and how it can be as long as we want (with hot chocolate later)

   

1505. visiting our neighbour's horses each day

 

1506. for animal mommas who also love their babies

 

1507. listening to toddler talk when baby is down for a nap

 

1508. all day snuggles I don't have to miss

 

1509. how so much changed when he came along and how we couldn't imagine life without him

1510. for three little mommies (they still are)  

 

1511. for a boy and how he made me re-think my homeschooling as he grew

1512. how breast-feeding one and putting another in time-out while teaching was tricky (and I cried a lot)... but so worth it in the long run!

1513. how somehow we got the notion from God that this was the path we were to take and how He's blessed it even when I've messed it up many days! Grace!

 

Hanging Out Your Dirty Laundry

No one wants people to know their dirty little secrets. No one wants anyone to know they have a dark side. No one wants to come down from their pedestal and admit they are a coward, a fool, a sinner. No one wants this until... they experience godly sorrow. If you've received this gift from the Lord, you'll know what I'm talking about. Godly sorrow is true repentance, a deep and utter grief that you are faced with when you realize how you've broken the heart of God. It's a sick feeling that comes when you are enlightened to the magnitude of your sin and it's effect on yourself and others around you--even in unassuming ways. It's the shame you discover when you finally see the hypocrite you've become. It's the urgent desire to snatch others from the enemy's hands--and quickly.

Hanging out your dirty laundry is not always necessary in full, but when you have been humbled by godly sorrow you will have so little pride, that the foremost thought you will have is to share with others that you aren't as righteous as the facade you've purported. The exposure of your weaknesses is key to helping others see the truth and that the Truth will set them free as well! You will strongly desire to shout from the mountain tops that taking thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ and bringing sin into the light removes all of that sin's power! Oh, it's difficult, at first, even scary, but there's no better place than to be walking in the light. Joy, peace and freedom can belong to you when you take the mask off and begin to allow God to deal with your "dirty laundry".

Once this has happened, you can walk without shame and begin with a "clean slate". Asking the Lord for an accountability partner will also be the staying power you need to maintain your walk in freedom. He will send someone in due time whom you can trust. The Bible says, "Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed..." James 5:16