Day Twenty-Eight: Homeschooling When You Don't Want To

He stood over our bed, kissed me and I rolled over and snuggled deeper into the duvet.

 

 "Isn't it 'Take-Your-Kids-To-Work Day'?" I moaned and peeked with one eye open at the digital clock. It was 6:44 a.m. and getting out of my warm burrow was inevitable.

 

My husband laughed and whispered, "See you at breakfast."

 

Breakfast means "around 11 a.m." because the math teacher, a.k.a. Daddy, likes to check in on the kids' work, especially math. He uses the short time he's home for meals to quickly teach a concept so the kids' can carry on in their weekly lessons. This morning, I was not up for having math completed by 11, or English, or... anything else. I pulled the blankets up over my head and promised myself that if I could just have ten more minutes, I'd cheerfully hop out of bed and dance my way into the day. But that didn't happen... and the rest of the morning was less than a dance.

 

 

Do you ever have those days when you don't like who you feel yourself becoming? I mean, those days when your intentions are good but that last blog post you wrote that sounded so diligent, and that friend you helped to get back on her feet, and that promise you made to your husband just strangely seem so unlike the person you're hearing in the sergeant's voice? I yelled for my son to get into the schoolroom for the fifth time and I forgot the laundry overnight and it started to smell. I impatiently brushed past a child who was trying to show me her new story and I answered the phone after 9 a.m.. Line all those deficiencies in a row and you've got a wall that seems impenetrable for change.

 

 

So, what do you do when you just don't want to homeschool? My sister thought of this topic for me to write about (knowing many moms can relate, I'm sure) and I exclaimed in a return text, "Yes! Good one!" But quickly texted her back, "Okay, now what? What's the answer?"

 

She texted her reply, "crazy man date".

 

What? Hmmm... perhaps she should go on a crazy date in order to get her energy back to homeschool? I wondered.

 

A few minutes later she returned with, "Sorry, typo. I meant, Christ's mandate."

 

Well, that makes more sense... I think :)

 

Essentially, that is key. But first, I need to sit and ponder for a moment why I am feeling this way. Is it lack of sleep? Is it poor time management that inescapably creates a day of chaos? Is it lack of quiet time with God? Do we need a change in routine? Do we need to maintain our routine better? Has disciplining the kids gotten away from me and I'm dreading the pandemonium that ensues as soon as one thing goes wrong? Have I not experienced enough adult time? Once I am able to pinpoint the source of the problem, I can begin to yield to God to give me some creative and practical ways to rescue our day and my attitude. I don't want guilt to be the motivation for getting up in the morning when God can give me joy!

Accountability for these areas that affect homeschooling is very important. Whether it's my spouse, my conscientious friend, or my children's needs, I must answer to someone so I don't slip into apathy and laziness. My heart desires to know what Jesus requires of me above all. He spoke so often of how to treat others. Ultimately, we are to share God's love and bring others to Christ (Matthew 28:15-20). Do I do that daily with my children? Am I even capable? Isn't that what got me in this mood in the first place--feeling like I can't do it, that I don't want to do it? Our pastor spoke this Sunday of Jesus' sermon on the mount and how it's impossible for us to live up to it completely but that it's a picture of who God is and an example for us as we walk this temporary journey called life. When I finally stop ranting and come to a place of introspection and softness to God's voice, I usually sense the Lord reminding me He's with me and will help me do this homeschooling thing, one day at a time. He never leaves me floundering (or under the covers) for too long.

The following Scriptures always encourage me that there is hope for my apathy, fear, frustration, and laziness--and they hold me accountable!

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

 

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12

 

Gregory Lang says, "Although saved, we remain imperfect people who continue to be tempted by our sinful nature. Do not take salvation for granted and act as though you are unchanged. Train yourself to be godly, obey the Word, and rise above your nature, demonstrating your renewal so that others may wish to follow your example. Obedience to God is the sign of your sheer delight and a joy-filled thankfulness for your salvation. Hold yourself accountable."

 

Yes, holding myself accountable, with the help of an almighty and omniscient God!

 

 

 

 

Day Nineteen: Is Homeschooling For Everyone?

I pulled back the bedspread, climbed in, bunched up my pillow on one end and snuggled my head into it. Terry turned out the light and slid in beside me. Within a minute he was breathing heavily and I knew he'd already drifted off to sleep. My thoughts raced with all the good things that had been accomplished that day. I exhaled a satisfying sigh of peace. I praised the Lord for His goodness and faded into unconsciousness.

 

Nights like those are precious. There are many when it's not so sweet, though. Sometimes I lie awake searching for answers to how I'm going to get Molly to transfer her perfect spelling tests to her actual writing or I fret about whether or not I bought the best curriculum for Emily this year. I kick myself for not remembering to make a doctor's appointment for Meg and the thought that we forgot to address the problem with Oliver using a hammer on the kitchen counter, looms in my mind. Yes, there are concerns, for sure. And there are times when I feel inadequate.

 
 

As I learn about Who my great God is, I begin to trust more and realize it's not  about what I'm doing perfectly that matters in my children's lives. When I felt the nudging toward homeschooling, I wasn't sure if we were going to be successful at this thing. However, I did know that I always had the option of placing them back in school, if I failed miserably. What I figured out over time is that through my weakness, God's power was revealed. I am able to do the best I can with the resources I have and then lay my children in His hands. He is beyond capable of honouring my efforts and guiding me in all that I do. He surprises me when suddenly, one of my children begins to excel in an area we've been praying about. He uses my inadequacies to demonstrate that He is my life preserver when I feel I'm drowning. I am completely dependent on Him in my homeschooling, just as I was when I was teaching a class of 28 children and feeling overwhelmed. Enrolling my kids in school again is no longer a weekly consideration or a threat I make to my children when they're fooling around and not working :)

 

However, the decision to homeschool must come from the Father to your own heart. I will not attempt to influence anyone to do something that is not already a stirring in their life. Perhaps the Lord has your family in exactly the location He's designed for you. May He bless you and prosper you in that place. But, I do encourage moms when I sense there's a longing there to be home and spend more time with their kids. I have friends whose children are struggling with some aspect of school and they've admitted to me that they know they could help their child with one on one attention, more than the teacher is presently able. Then I say, go for it! Rescue your little (or big) one from anxiety, frustration and that feeling of failure. God has given mommas a love that desires to see their babies succeed more than anyone else. If He's tugging on your heart, all your fears about being incapable pale in contrast to the potential home educating will likely provide. There is an abundance of support for newbie homeschoolers and a determined parent can be the best teacher for their child.

 
 

Besides lack of teaching experience, there are a few other obvious roadblocks for moms (or dads)considering homeschooling. One is financial. Yes, you must consider what a single income will look like for your family. Most often, I hear people eventually calculate how much homeschooling has saved them, such as, they no longer have to keep up with the latest clothing, gadgets, school fees, special snacks, etc. But, it might be more than that for you. Closing a second income is almost crippling for some families. I want to encourage you that if God is putting the desire in your heart and you're praying for answers, He will provide as you obey His voice. It's the same as trusting Him in all other areas of your life.

Another obstacle is the fear of loss of your time and freedom. How great is it to wave goodbye to your kids as they climb onto the bus so you can go to work, pick up groceries, or clean the house and then smile at their dear faces as they return many hours later? I assure you, that is a cost to consider. I am no longer in that position because my older ones look after the younger and I am now able to run out for dinner items or meet a friend for tea. There were a few tough years in there but looking back, I am thankful for the training time I had so that I would be able to have more freedom. I don't feel guilty leaving them as I've spent much time with them throughout the day already.

 

A third roadblock is that one parent (usually the husband, but I've seen the opposite) doesn't agree with the idea of homeschooling the children. This seems to be the biggest reason for women I've spoken to. The momma gets the nudging and the dad feels that it'll set his kids' back in their learning or they'll look weird and unsocialized (As I have written about homeschooling in community a few days ago, I won't address the subject again. However, I have found socialization has more to do with the type of family the child is in and less about how often he sees kids his age. Have you ever met children who have low social abilities at school? A couple in every class, right?). Back to the dads... I believe that whatever comes from the Lord, can be prayed into existence. I'm living proof of that and so are most of my friends. When we were feeling strongly that homeschooling was right for our children, we fasted and prayed for our husbands to come on board. Without pushing or forcing our plans, God moved in the hearts of our husbands and here we are today. 

 

A beautiful and creative example of this is my friend, Annie, who was pretty sure she was up for the challenge of schooling her children. The kids were attending a Christian school but she just felt like home was where they needed to be for now. Her husband understandably figured, why fix what isn't broken? Still, she felt the pull. She prayed for a few months and knowing her husband's personality as a banker, she gathered a file folder of information, that included a potential schedule, field trip ideas, groups they could become involved in, and an article about the benefits of homeschooling. She made an appointment at the bank like one of his clients would and booked herself as "Anita Shoiya". She wanted to be sure he would take her idea seriously. When she arrived at his office, he was happy to see her but mentioned that he had a client due to come soon. She told him that client was standing in front of him. He was taken aback. She verified the name on his list of appointments and told him to say it slowly. He pronounced..."A--ne--ta--show--ya" and soon figured out she "needed to show him" something :) After presenting the folder full of research, she asked him with a little trepidation what he thought. Immediately, he offered, "Well, I've been thinking we could move the dining room table and make it the classroom..."

Her heart whispered, Oh, Lord, what just happened?

So, if you're interested in home education or sensing that it's possibly a step for your family to take, I assure you, if it's God's plan, He'll see you through. It won't be a perfectly smooth journey, but it will be successful in ways you never expected. Enjoy the process and trust in the One who created your children. He knows what is best for them and He chose you to be their caretaker and teacher.

Homeschooling Goodness and the Grace to See it All

He's climbing the walls again, but not like you'd think. It's a brain break of sorts and not necessarily one of Heather Haupt's  (which we love) but it works for him. She cuts and glues her next Advent day's Scripture and reaches for another slice of apple. He races outside in the cold without proper, warm clothes because he forgot he threw on shorts that morning to do his schoolwork. I call him back in to layer up. Sometimes they present projects with other homeschoolers and swim with even more of them. They knit while I read aloud. They interrupt me to fix dropped stitches. The cat cries and she jumps up to see if Clementine needs her bowl filled. They work through science experiments alongside cousins and later they bound out of the truck into the church down the road for co-op once a week. This is what school looks like for us and it's all goodness.

climbing the walls

 

We're catching on in the midst of a lost math book and piles of dishes and a squabble over chores that this is truly a blessed life. We do our best to remember to praise and thank the One who makes it possible, the One who gives us immeasurably more than we deserve. Once in awhile, I look around the room and I get it. I can be so thick in my perfectionism. Yesterday I sat in the driveway and cried because the house was a mess and the kids weren't being helpful and the dishwasher service technician arrived before I could get home in time to be prepared. At that moment, my cell phone rang in my hand and a friend encouraged me and my husband sent a text telling me I had qualities that were more important than keeping things somewhat presentable. Goodness--all of it.

 

Advent books

highschool work

recess

making bird feeders with pinecones

favourite reading chair

knitting begins again--this year Oliver tries his hand at it

trying to figure out a new type of baby booties

favourite Christmas storybook

helping her sister figure out a math story problem

Caleb's loveable cameleon

experiment at Auntie Hilary's

 

singing the Books of the Old Testament at our homeschool group meeting

 

My plan is to blog Thirty-One Days Of Homeschooling Goodness in January--Lord willing. Please join me as I use my blog as a bit of an accountability for gratitude and praise, for self-discipline and consistency. May God grant us all the grace to see His goodness in our lives, whether we homeschool, work, study or care for others around us.