Day Fifteen: Just Do It

If My people, who are called by My name,

will humble themselves and pray and seek My face

and turn from their wicked ways,

then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin

and will heal their land.

(II Chronicles 7:14)

The promise of God is simple. We complicate it. When I read this Scripture, I notice there's not much to do on my part. God's part is to forgive my sins and heal my land--my life, my circumstances, my territory, my family. Why do we wander and wonder instead of follow these covenant words? I want the fruition of that obedience, don't you? Let's just do it! 

school outside in November? yes please!

Day Thirteen: Who Does The Work?

Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. (James 5:17)

There is hope, friends! Have you read the stories of Elijah and the earth-shattering miracles that followed him? The Bible says he was a mere human being like us! All he did was pray earnestly and the GOD who does the work did the work and the rain stopped. It's all about God and His power. Thank goodness, because I was beginning to wonder how I was going to cure all the cancer, rescue people from poverty and glue marriages back together. Phew! All I have to do is walk in obedience to His Word and pray in faith. (v.16) He's got the rest covered...according to His will and timing.

Day Twenty-Eight: Homeschooling When You Don't Want To

He stood over our bed, kissed me and I rolled over and snuggled deeper into the duvet.

 

 "Isn't it 'Take-Your-Kids-To-Work Day'?" I moaned and peeked with one eye open at the digital clock. It was 6:44 a.m. and getting out of my warm burrow was inevitable.

 

My husband laughed and whispered, "See you at breakfast."

 

Breakfast means "around 11 a.m." because the math teacher, a.k.a. Daddy, likes to check in on the kids' work, especially math. He uses the short time he's home for meals to quickly teach a concept so the kids' can carry on in their weekly lessons. This morning, I was not up for having math completed by 11, or English, or... anything else. I pulled the blankets up over my head and promised myself that if I could just have ten more minutes, I'd cheerfully hop out of bed and dance my way into the day. But that didn't happen... and the rest of the morning was less than a dance.

 

 

Do you ever have those days when you don't like who you feel yourself becoming? I mean, those days when your intentions are good but that last blog post you wrote that sounded so diligent, and that friend you helped to get back on her feet, and that promise you made to your husband just strangely seem so unlike the person you're hearing in the sergeant's voice? I yelled for my son to get into the schoolroom for the fifth time and I forgot the laundry overnight and it started to smell. I impatiently brushed past a child who was trying to show me her new story and I answered the phone after 9 a.m.. Line all those deficiencies in a row and you've got a wall that seems impenetrable for change.

 

 

So, what do you do when you just don't want to homeschool? My sister thought of this topic for me to write about (knowing many moms can relate, I'm sure) and I exclaimed in a return text, "Yes! Good one!" But quickly texted her back, "Okay, now what? What's the answer?"

 

She texted her reply, "crazy man date".

 

What? Hmmm... perhaps she should go on a crazy date in order to get her energy back to homeschool? I wondered.

 

A few minutes later she returned with, "Sorry, typo. I meant, Christ's mandate."

 

Well, that makes more sense... I think :)

 

Essentially, that is key. But first, I need to sit and ponder for a moment why I am feeling this way. Is it lack of sleep? Is it poor time management that inescapably creates a day of chaos? Is it lack of quiet time with God? Do we need a change in routine? Do we need to maintain our routine better? Has disciplining the kids gotten away from me and I'm dreading the pandemonium that ensues as soon as one thing goes wrong? Have I not experienced enough adult time? Once I am able to pinpoint the source of the problem, I can begin to yield to God to give me some creative and practical ways to rescue our day and my attitude. I don't want guilt to be the motivation for getting up in the morning when God can give me joy!

Accountability for these areas that affect homeschooling is very important. Whether it's my spouse, my conscientious friend, or my children's needs, I must answer to someone so I don't slip into apathy and laziness. My heart desires to know what Jesus requires of me above all. He spoke so often of how to treat others. Ultimately, we are to share God's love and bring others to Christ (Matthew 28:15-20). Do I do that daily with my children? Am I even capable? Isn't that what got me in this mood in the first place--feeling like I can't do it, that I don't want to do it? Our pastor spoke this Sunday of Jesus' sermon on the mount and how it's impossible for us to live up to it completely but that it's a picture of who God is and an example for us as we walk this temporary journey called life. When I finally stop ranting and come to a place of introspection and softness to God's voice, I usually sense the Lord reminding me He's with me and will help me do this homeschooling thing, one day at a time. He never leaves me floundering (or under the covers) for too long.

The following Scriptures always encourage me that there is hope for my apathy, fear, frustration, and laziness--and they hold me accountable!

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

 

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12

 

Gregory Lang says, "Although saved, we remain imperfect people who continue to be tempted by our sinful nature. Do not take salvation for granted and act as though you are unchanged. Train yourself to be godly, obey the Word, and rise above your nature, demonstrating your renewal so that others may wish to follow your example. Obedience to God is the sign of your sheer delight and a joy-filled thankfulness for your salvation. Hold yourself accountable."

 

Yes, holding myself accountable, with the help of an almighty and omniscient God!

 

 

 

 

Day Twenty: Patience In Homeschooling

"I'm going straight into that principal's office tomorrow and signing you up immediately! If you're going to disrespect me as your teacher one more time, I will have no other choice. Try that at school and see what happens! They won't take kindly to all that mouthiness, I promise you!" I raged, looming over her with hands on my hips.

 

My girl stood with big brown eyes like saucers, confounded by the sight before her. She was suddenly quiet as she gazed upon her mother having the same tantrum she had just displayed. Her shoulders slumped and she looked down at the floor. "I don't want to go to school, Mommy," she cried.

 

My muscles loosened and I sighed. In that moment, I realized I had lost my patience over a ready bomb that could have been deactivated in a much different way. Shame crept over me as every moment I had lost my cool raced through my mind. I pulled her toward me and wrapped my arms around her. "I love teaching you, Babe, I really do. I just want you to remember to honour Mommy, as the Bible says, and obey the rules of our homeschool. Will you forgive me for being so impatient?" Through her tears she gazed up at me, still frowning.

 

"Okay (sniff)." And she buried her head in my sweater.

 

Patience is a daily request I make to the Lord. But because His Spirit is resident in me, and He is all-patient, I have the ability to exhibit patience to my children. I am not helpless. I am not left without a way out of the temptation to lose it. (I Corinthians 10:13) I am responsible, and capable, to obey and be long-suffering as Jesus exemplified. He said, "If you love Me, keep My commandments." (John 14:15, 16) Thankfully, when I fail, the Holy Spirit rescues me every time as He is my "Helper". He knows my heart and that I desperately desire to raise my children experiencing this beautiful fruit of the Spirit in me. I want a soft answer to be so normal in our home that they are surprised when they see impatient behaviour. (Proverbs 15:1) I know that my greatest weapon against impatience is communing daily with the Giver of this fruit. (Psalm 27--amazing! Galatians 5:25) I see such a difference in my responses to my children and husband when I do.

 

 

After posting yesterday's writing about roadblocks to homeschooling, I thought about how impatience is likely the next biggest concern for mothers. They fear they won't have enough patience to deal with their children by educating them and being with them all day long. Well, they're absolutely correct--they won't, and I don't either. However, just as we rely on God to provide financially and to turn the hearts of our husbands, we trust that if He's leading us to this calling, He'll provide the patience when we ask. It doesn't mean we won't make mistakes, but we will grow in Him and get a little closer to the way His Son lived and was an example for us. Psalm 103 speaks of God's great long-suffering with us and that He doesn't punish us according to what we deserve. Since patience is directly related to mercy and we have been shown unfathomable mercy in our lives, we remind ourselves that we must have mercy on our children when they are behaving or learning in way that is frustrating to us. We have the ability to have patience in our homeschooling when God is the One who leads us.

 

 

Gratitude:

 

1514. for the unbelievable mercy God grants me each day

1515. the news Linda received that the plate in her head will be operated on to be fixed

1516. that Kim began her treatments and is on the road to healing (believing!)

1517. for another birthday for my two January kiddos!

1518. for a continued love of homeschooling even in our eighth year

1519. for the readers of this blog who let me know once in awhile that they're "tuned in"--thank you!

1520. how gratitude really does change hearts and minds and bring joy to your life

1521. for intimate conversations with my big girl
1522. how he often says out of the blue, "I love you, Mommy."

 

 

She Knows What She Believes

We take Deuteronomy Six seriously and do our best to talk about Jesus daily as we eat, as we pray, as we walk along the woods, as we do our schoolwork together. We fail many days as humans to live this out fully in front of our kids and they know it. But in our weaknesses, Jesus is glorified if we're humbly apologizing to each other and admitting we're nothing without Him. Still, they need to own it for themselves. It doesn't matter how often we take them to church, how much we say "grace" at dinner, they must personally receive Him into their lives and follow Him whole-heartedly by their own free-will. And so, we were thankful when our oldest girl said she and some friends had been talking a lot about baptism and she desired to show the Lord (and everyone) she was serious about Him being front and centre in her life.

Pastor Dan, her youth pastor, just had to begin with a comment about her being a Toronto Maple Leafs fan. She did a mini cheer :)

Then he asked her to share a bit of her story. She spoke with confidence about how she was raised in a Christian home but it wasn't until she began attending the evening services where our young adults' pastor talked each week, that she was moved in her heart to really believe for herself.

(Oh, how I love mentorship beyond the parental role! The Lord uses many people along the journey.)

He prayed for her life and future, for God to use her through her dance or her great personality :) or whatever He has for her. He prayed for her to remain close to Jesus.

Forty-four of her friends and family came to the church that night in support. Four little girls leaned forward on the pew as they witnessed a girl who publicly professed what she knew to be vital.

And then she went under, she with all her humanness and sin and passions and love for Jesus.

Rising up out of the water symbolized being washed clean, being alive in Christ, killing the old life through repentance (turning from your sin). Jesus commanded it but also demonstrated it for us so we'd understand better. We identify with His dying and resurrection, although He was perfect and sinless.

Meghan will begin to know in a deeper way who she really is and to Whom she really belongs as she continues to hide His Word in her heart. Yes, she'll still sin, like the rest of us, but she'll know she's been covered by the blood of a Saviour Who gave His life for her and rose again to give her eternal life. As she houses the Holy Spirit and listens for His voice, it'll be easier to make wise choices. She'll encounter tough things, salvation and baptism don't exempt her from that, but she'll know how to face trials with a God who desires to carry her through and who gives her insight on how to live.  It's not just a religion, it's relationship with the Creator of the Universe. Meghan knows what she believes and she chose to follow what He told her to do. It's that simple. It's that amazing. God will change your life forever, if you allow Him to.



His Answer For My Struggle

Waves of helplessness wash over me when I think about creating and keeping habits--good ones. There are so many I do keep but those don't seem to hold any weight with me right now. The ones that stand out, the ones I desperately need to introduce myself to in order to make this life much smoother, their lack screams at me daily. The small, seemingly insignificant, regular habits I desire, evade me somehow. I talk about them, pray about them, list-write them, try them out from time to time but I can't capture them and cage them as my own.

I cried in the shower the other day because He spoke to me (I seem to do my best listening there.). The words were so clear, painful, and good:

"Obedience. Obedience is the only way to begin and maintain those beautiful habits."

Really, Lord? It's obedience I struggle with?

Not self-discipline, busyness, stress?

No other excuses?

Keep pressing on me, Lord; keep the sorrow over disobedience strong in me. Let it move me to obedience so that all You have for me is closer for the receiving. I know that lovely and satisfying gifts await me with the faithful practice of small, sometimes monotonous, but always important habits.

Grace For Habit Building

I have a habit. I love to write lists. I make them one after another and rarely see them all to completion. Oh, the marvelous intentions! I'm the best beginner of all fantastic plans. I have fabulous ideas and would love to share them with you, but sadly, I'm not a finisher of them. In a perfect world, my children would have two teachers, one to commence wonderful projects and one to help them carry them through. But it's not a perfect world and I must be the one who encounters the living God daily and humbly asks for His grace. I must relent all my lofty ideas and submit to the routine and schedule He's calling me to align with. And so I have begun Ann's 100 Day Habit Calendar. So far, I've made a great start :)

Photo is a reminder of an item crossed off my list in honour of a birthday wish of one of my children (yay!).

Day Five (of 31 Days) Groping For God

Weariness or sadness causes me to grope around like a blindfolded person searching for some safety and stability to hold onto, reaching, ever-reaching for something solid to anchor this drifting heart. Alternately, my busy, joy-filled days sometimes cause me to ignore the One who gave His life that I might obtain peace. As this wavering child seeks to obey, this October, I once again begin to rise early and come into His presence before the children awake. "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." James 4:8. I've had this memorized my whole life and yet it is such a profound truth. I read this morning, "...they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and have our being..." (Acts 17:27,28) Groping. It connotes a strong desire and a desperate searching. Let's draw near this month together with obedience and fervency. Read Acts 17:24-28 or the whole book, if you're able!