Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Pause Awhile

It's 200 pages of rainbowed potential but I'm thinking about how I might regret buying it. I'm imagining how I'll be picking up paper airplanes and sparkle-glued sculptures for weeks and how my husband and I will sigh and throw our hands up. But then she bends and thumbs through the pad of construction paper, fanning the colours from bottom to top. There's thoughtfulness in her face and I ask her if she is inventing in her mind and she flashes a smile that says thank you for knowing me, Mommy. And suddenly, I don't regret my purchase.

Later, I dash past the piano on my way with odds and ends in tow--a hair barrette, a towel--misplaced in the kitchen, a sock. I'm stopped in my tracks when that familiar thing he does catches my eye. He's lined the keys again with his vehicles. He calls it his parking lot and I can understand how the lines make for good placement, better than his bedroom car mat. I remember how I used to get frustrated by this and how I told him it would damage the keys but I can't remember anymore why it matters.
Their cousins come with snow gear and they all seem to think that a game of who-can-get-the-most-soaked will be fun... right down into their socks. They throw snow haphazardly, much of it landing inside boots and collars and when I almost scold, because I know too well the whining that will entail, I open the door and take photos instead. They throw snow back at me and it lands in my kitchen and I have to pause and grin and make memories with them because I'm a grumpy old mom otherwise. I really can be. So I pause awhile.

She's three weeks old and she's smiling at me and I'm melting and wishing...
Babies are my weakness and as I hold her tiny beauty, I'm taken in all the ways a Mommy can be taken and she's not even mine. Suddenly, the paper, the cars, the snow, they're all worth it and it goes so quickly and I can't stop the time racing. I cradle this one and whisper a promise to myself to never let my impatience over their childish ways make me forget they won't be children for long.

I sit tonight with fingers tapping keys and I can say, it's been a good few days... because I paused awhile.

(Linking up with The Homeschool Village on what our week looked like. Check it out!)

17 comments:

Camille said...

I.SO.LOVED. this post Heather!!! How TRUE, TRUE, TRUE!!! Oh how FUN that little boy of yours is! What a great place to park cars and trucks and planes...just don't tell my boys...LOL! Wonderful photos! Gorgeous little baby girl and *love* your glasses...beautiful! :)

With Love,
Camille

Sarah said...

I am so realizing the truth to this recently, and so thankful that God is teaching me it now before it's too late! There is always time to clean up the messes, but not always time for play and relaxing!! Love that you're enjoying every second and that you inspire others to do the same. YOU are a HUGE blessing to me Heather, thank you for that.
Love Sarah

Linda said...

Oh....such a beautiful post! And such a great reminder...it's so easy to get impatient with their "childish ways."

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your son's "parking lot." Though I am NOT going to show my 7-yr old boy that picture! :-) We like to create parking lots out of narrow painter's tape on our living room carpet!!

Thanks for linking up and stopping by my blog!! Have a blessed day!

"Say What?" said...

Absolutely Beautiful Pictures! And as a mother of boys, the piano/cars made me smile. We're all in this together, my friend. :)

Linking-Up from The HomeSchool Village
http://bugs2butterflies.blogspot.com

Layton Family Joy said...

Thanks for linking up - wow, all that fun in the snow sure does look wonderful to a Florida girl!! Your piano full of matchbox cars looks like my fireplace!!

keep warm
Stef

Thanks for linking up to The HSV

Brandee Shafer said...

Love it times a million kazillion. It's so hard for all of us to see the big picture, sometimes, but you've seen it.

The Maretzki Family said...

Cute baby! ;-) I love all the pictures, expecially the piano one. Great post.

I Live in an Antbed said...

You are wise, indeed! How we respond determines so many times how they feel about themselves. It is too easy to react instead of act. So easy to think of the mess instead of the memories. This was a beautiful reminder of what's really important. Thank you!

Kat said...

what a lovely post. I really loved the parking lot!

Jennifer said...

I need to take time to pause more often. You're so right---they're only little once. Thanks for the reminder.

It looks like you've had a great week!

~Jennifer

Heather said...

Jennifer, I'd have to say the Lord redeemed our week. We had some crazy moments but once I paused to enjoy them, things were better. Also, through prayer and advice from a couple of people, we were able to curb a big homeschool problem. At the risk of making things look wonderful (and they are), I have to be honest in my portrayal of what we do but also to admit the very real-ness that all of us homeschoolers know.

Jennifer said...

I understand what you're saying! You're very right about the real-ness. We had a redeemed week too. I couldn't make without Him!

~Jennifer

Lesley said...

This is exactly what it's all about! The big " little " things that make it all worth it! God bless you guys!

Elise said...

"I have to pause and grin and make memories with them because I'm a grumpy old mom otherwise. I really can be. So I pause awhile." You're not alone, sweet sister!

This is such a beautiful post! Thank you, very much, for sharing! So glad I paused here a moment!

Anna said...

Great reminder, Heather. Nice picture of Oliver's cars. I remember your pictures of "a kid lives here". love it!

Kathy S. said...

Every time I come here I smile big!
Thanks Heather! Loved your photos again, and your expressions of inner conflict jolt me to memories which I love!

Jennifer said...

The piano parking lot is so cute.