Monday, June 6, 2011

Obedient Children--Is It Possible?



My sister sent me home from her house with a CD she had found very insightful. I couldn't listen to it in the van on the way home because Jonathan Park was instilling truths about creation in my children as they sat buckled and riveted. It wasn't until I carried a cup of Earl Grey to my computer several nights later, that I was opened up to the world of mom-to-thirteen-kids, Marilyn Boyer. Her message was called, "Obedience From The Heart" and as I listened, all the truths I already knew, just seemed a little more outlined, simple and doable to me. Here are a few of my notes, in case you are also incessantly seeking new ways to create a peaceful environment in your home...

-Obedience is doing what is expected with a willing and happy heart
-There are three facets to obedience: cheerfully, immediately and thoroughly
-If we really love our children, we train their hearts toward obedience
-To obey God is better than sacrifice
-We need to exchange our thoughts for God's thoughts because His ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55)
-our view point is so limited but God knows the big picture
-we need to trust Him and our children need to trust us
-home is the training ground for future faithfulness to God
-don't punish childishness or clumsiness, only disobedience (ie: spilled milk, experimentation of little ones)
-handle your children's hearts wisely, don't be a drill sergeant but be merciful like God is with us (the way God deals with us is a picture how we're supposed to deal with them)
-don't raise your voice
-don't correct your children in front of others
-don't give them opportunity to disobey you (ie: "If you don't eat your supper, you're going to be in trouble." They may decide they don't want to obey you. Instead say, "You don't have to eat your lunch but there will be no snacks until dinner.")
-it's better to miss an opportunity to correct your kids instead of wounding them
-how do they see your heart? If they know you have their best interests at heart, they won't be angry when disciplined.
-children were not given to us for our own convenience
-treat them with respect
-let them know they're the most important people to us
-when in training stage, they're learning self-control
-show them opposite qualities to what they're doing (ie: tattling--love)
-have a cconsequence chart so they know what to expect (ie:  if unkind to brother--do something nice for him, if irritate your sister, make her bed, etc.)
-Scripture is the only thing that will bring about true and lasting change and character in your child
-help them memorize verses that coincide with the character traits you're working on
-show honour to others--if we show it, they'll show it.
-expect different responses for different children 
-correct disobedience/defiance, disrespect, irresponsibility (not showing accountability for not following the result expected of them)

Children are in training. If we can remember this, we can relax a little more and be at peace knowing that we don't have to expect them to meet the goal of perfection every day. We don't reach it either and God extends grace toward us.

Gratitude:

825. resouces for frazzled moms
826. obedient and disobedient children
827. knowing that I'm in training as well
828. a husband who shares in the discipline
829. learning gentleness (and that His mercies are new every morning)
830. sisters and friends who are experiencing the same journey


11 comments:

Craig and Bethany said...

Oh Heather! I am so blessed by your list of notes.

-it's better to miss an opportunity to correct your kids instead of wounding them -- I needed this one.

Thank-you for your visits on my blog and your encouragement. Love to you!

jeana said...

What wonderful notes! A work that never ends at this stage in our lives...always working on obedience and building character. Thanks for sharing!

Christina said...

"don't give them an opportunity to disobey" That's one I need to work on:) great list--thanks for sharing! (BTW would love to have you share your wisdom and insights on my "teach me Jesus Thursdays")

Jen said...

Love it! Yes, so glad that children...like us adults sometimes...are still in training! :)
A new follower,
Jen

Anna said...

Agh, is it too late????
Great notes!!
I love the reminder that we (as Moms) are in training too.

C Laman said...

such a concise list, and yet, so many things to consider

Jolanna said...

Great parenting wisdom! Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves that they are "in training." Mistakes and misbehaviour are opportunities for us to teach and train them. If our kids were born perfect, they wouldn't need us would they? Thanks for sharing!

Camille said...

Wonderful post my friend! Thank you for sharing this wisdom with us. :) *Love* your list. You are almost there...only 170 to go!! :)

Love,
Camille

Amy Bowman said...

oh, this is goooood! i love that you shared your notes. i am taking notes on your notes:)

Pure Perseverance said...

This is very good! I needed to read this as we are dealing with an issue now. Thank you for your notes. Your insights.

my name is kimberley said...

THANK YOU!!! i had a phone chat this morning with a friend about this very thing!! i'm "bookmarking" this post of yours so that i can keep coming back to these reminders.

you are such a blessing and i'm so thankful for you.