(Joining my two moms (one, in-law) and my aunt and their immeasurable hearts for the poor... Mom V. crochets sleeping mats for the Haitian children, my Mom knits blankets for babies left in the fields in Africa while their mothers go to work in the sex-slave-trade, and my Aunt Kathy gives to every single needy person in her life and solicits others to join her--in the gift of giving.
We, as a family, help to provide the materials for these projects but can do a little more. Is there anything you can do in your area with your kids? I want to teach my children to praise God for every blessing, not to feel entitled to the goodness they experience, and to give out of over-flowing hearts... perhaps then, I'll "get it" one day too.)
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
I Don't Deserve This!
We were beginning to feel the effects of the broken furnace and so we triple covered our slumbering children in their beds. It was eleven p.m. and I was shivering. My husband stoked the fire and all I wanted to do was sleep but my clattering bones were drawn to the only soothing place in the house. Once I had nearly burned my back right through my jammies, I felt I was ready to make the run to the bedroom and fly under the crisp covers. There, I huddled underneath, socked feet flattened between my husband's calves. My head, completely covered, was nestled into his... armpit, I think. It was dark and I didn't care... as long as I was warm. When I lost the ability to breathe, I came up for air.
The sun didn't shine the next morning... it rained... which made it even colder. One by one, my children rose from their beds, wrapped in blankets or dressed in layers of shirts and sweaters. They were good sports about it, especially because it seemed that schoolwork would have to be done around the fireplace that day. Oliver even decided that the fire might be a good way to toast his English muffin for breakfast :) Daddy did his stoking one more time before heading off to work.But all of it got me thinking. As the goosebumps rose on my arms, I pulled the flannel blanket tighter around me, but thoughts of the homeless, wrapped only in hopelessness, invaded my mind.
What is our inconvenience is their reality! I shuddered again, not because of my cold body but because of my frigid heart. Our situation wasn't so bad that I asked, "Why me, Lord?" but I wondered, why don't I ever cry out to God, "I don't deserve this!" when things are going well? When Japan is facing an unfathomable crisis, why do we get to cuddle up together, each one of us accounted for? Again, gratitude flooded this comfortable, sinful soul and I praised Him for every precious moment, every perfect gift and... every small hazard that compels me to discern how much I don't deserve the good stuff.