Thoughts on Easter

I lifted the spoon to her mouth and she smiled. I'd made her some chickpea salad and she approved. I was thankful because besides tucking her into bed and feeding her, I didn't know how else to humanly help her. However, I am grateful that my sister-in-law's Creator cares more for her than any of us in the family do. Her life has been lifted over and over to the Lord in supplication for healing. Now, she is spiritually suspended in prayer because, with the myriad of people who love her, I suspect prayer never ceases on her behalf.

 

This was the first Easter we didn't gather as a family on my husband's side of the family.

***

I got the text early in the morning that my mom's brother had passed away. He'd been in the hospital for over two years and was never quite well enough to make it home to recover. We reunited as a family at the funeral and I was reminded once again how important family is to God. It's the safe place He created for people to feel loved when perhaps they're not finding it in the world. That was Easter weekend.

 

It was the first time my family didn't celebrate with dinner at my Mom's either.  

*** 

My dear friend's eleven year-old daughter lay in the hospital with a tumour in her leg. Seven months of intense chemo and surgeries is what the doctors stated would be her lot. They weren't prepared for the excruciating pain and illness they'd witness in their little Ella, their only child. Mom, Dad and daughter living in a small hospital room for weeks was almost unbearable as the bone had snapped right then and there and she was placed in traction.

 

This year changed everything for this precious family. 

 *** 

I watched as our friend hung on the cross heaving and acting the part of his Lord in our church musical. Knowing it was Steve didn't deter me from the powerful reminder of the torture Jesus endured for my forgiveness and how He was resurrected to give me eternal life. Easter lives in my heart daily. It's not a weekend, it's not a dinner, it's not even family. I am alive and free because of Jesus. I am forgiven and can face all my tomorrows because of His great love. Easter didn't happen for us on the traditional day it's set for, but that doesn't matter. My uncle's recent passing to his eternal home, my sister-in-law's life, and little Ella's future are all in the adoring hands of their Saviour. Easter makes hope possible. It makes joy possible in the midst of sorrow. Easter makes suffering bearable because it is short-lived. This does not minimize pain or struggle, nor does it mean God doesn't heal. But, it allows me to believe that because there's so much more to life than this tiny planet and this finite amount of time, I can rest in knowing Easter makes all the difference.

Gratitude:

  



1791. getting together the following week and her hiding places for eggs :)

1792. blonde beauties

1793. scouring for eggs together

1794. how these two still snuggle their big kids

1795. family friendships

1796. her faithfulness in visiting her brother before he passed away

1797. shaking and doing whatever one can to get the eggs

1798. the way he's always interested in the kids and what they have to say

1799. never too big for an egg hunt

1800. how she's kept that basket for about 9 years!

1801. teaching little ones to collect

1802. his love for toddlers and babies

1803. catching a sharing moment?

1804. the way they had the whole place combed in a matter of minutes

1805. stealth mode 

1806. for pretty spring cakes (my mom asked for it :)

1807. how it only took about 5 attempts to get a photo with everyone looking and smiling

1808. for hope and joy in the midst of trying times

Dear Children

Dear Children,

The days seem long, don't they? But you'll be growing up and you'll look back and feel like childhood was actually such a small piece of your life. You'll have responsibilities that are big and important. You'll be venturing out on your own and caring for others through your work, your ministries, and your own families. You might wonder where the carefree days disappeared to as you struggle to understand a suffering world and how you can be an agent of change for God.

(hand-holding as they walk? unprompted and unaware of me--love it)

As your mother, I'm endeavoring to lengthen your days, teaching you to drink life in, worship the Creator and notice the tiny details of His world. Our life isn't perfect but you're learning to love each other and to remember Who is guiding you. You already have compassion for others. I'm thankful for that. I love these times we are living through together, and so I jot down your funny sayings and your inquisitive conversations with me. I snap photos of your growing bodies and changing faces. I want to remind you one day how blessed and lovely these days were--the preparatory days.

The Bible says the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. I'm praying that you will always have a healthy fear of Him, that you'll hear His voice and obey it--that I'll obey it, as I walk this road with you. I'm so grateful for Daddy, who also joins me in creating a loving and disciplined youth for all of you. When you see me mess up this parenting thing, know that I'm human and flawed and that I still love you and am seeking forgiveness from the Lord and from you, to begin again. It's that wisdom from Him that leads me to be able to do this.  

 

I pray that mentors will come alongside you as you journey. The Lord sent me many, and if I humbled myself to take their advice, my path seemed so much easier. One such mentor was my mom, your "Mama". She taught me to have a relationship with Jesus and to love people fiercely. Embrace this heritage and that of your other grandparents too and you won't lose your way. God gave them to you as examples of how to carry out His purposes and to help your fellow humans. They do this well.

 

 

When life gets tough, and it will, remember we were never promised things would always be easy, only that God would carry us in His arms. If you never let go of that knowledge, you'll feel Him, actually feel His arms tangibly around you when you're unable to understand why you're encountering hardship. I know this because I've been there. I believe I could feel Him in moments of despair because of my history of practicing prayer, worship, writing down thanksgiving and answers to prayer.  I was taught to remind myself when life was easy that God is good. As a result, I simply knew it as truth when life wasn't easy. 

I love you, my "babies". You're growing up so quickly. Sometimes I stop in my busyness and just stare at you and whisper gratitude that you're mine. I'm sorry I don't always articulate this to you, but it's true. You're talented, beautiful, kind and already fulfilling your purposes on earth, as God reveals them to you. Young people are valuable and being used by God too! May you always love the Lord with all your hearts and love your neighbor as yourself.

I adore you, every one of you.

Love, Mommy

 

 

Eight, With A Little Spice

A crash in the other room gives me a jolt as I stir the pasta sauce. I freeze and listen for tears, laughter, screaming or all of the above. When giggles erupt, my body relaxes and I resign to the thought that these two rough-and-tumblers need to release some energy after their school work is done. A minute later, Emily and her little brother enter the kitchen by rolling over each other.

 

 I taste-test the sauce and it's just the right amount of spicy--just like my girl. Like gentle oregano, she can add flavour to a group of children who are looking for something to do. Leave her with them long enough and all that cajun comes out and she's got the whole room dancing or engaged in  hide-and-seek in the dark, complete with sound effects so kids can be easily found. 

She turned eight the other day. Does that seem little to you? Because this small package already shares with us her desire to go to Africa, how she longs to live there and be with the people. Last year she told us she wishes she was black and she has dreams at night of passing out food for orphans. I imagine her at twenty and she's not home with me but out in the world, learning how fantastically God created various people groups and how she'll love and appreciate them. She has a philanthropist's heart but I think she already senses there's more her recipients will offer her. 

 

We celebrate her birthday with a cupcake party. Her friends, siblings and cousins ice theirs amidst giggles. She's behaving with wit and sillyness and maturity at the same time. She's the fragrance of a little girl who's growing up too quickly for my taste but I release these feelings with the gentle nudging of God's assurance that He's "got her back". I'm praising God for her life in the biggest way as little voices begin to sing "Happy Birthday, dear Emily".

You amaze me, sweet girl. You are exactly what the Lord had planned when He loaned you to us. I pray you always seek His will in your adventures that lie ahead. I love you, my dear eight year old. Yes, you can finally travel without your booster seat :)

Single Valentine

She doesn't know it but she's beautiful. He made her with dancing eyes and great hair. She has small fingers and a throw-your-head-back laugh. She's funny and loves quickly and can get deep with you as soon as you meet. She's vulnerable and witty. She's lovely and just a little fearful. Her biggest downfall? She bases her worth on how men view her. It's been years of this habit but God's getting a hold of her heart. He's whispering sweet words of His love for her and she's going to fall for it... hook, line and sinker... because it's all true. He adores her.

Precious, single woman, when it looks like He's passed you by, that God has forgotten you, that He missed you when He was matching the men and women around you, know that you're so special. He loves you incredibly and miraculously and He has a plan that will astound you. You're His sweet Valentine and He can't wait to share all of His design for your life. Look to Him, trust in Him and rest in His love. Be still. Stop striving. He'll reveal it. He loves His girl.

Trapped In Time

Are you waiting for something? Have you heard and read so many times to wait patiently, that God's timing is perfect? Sometimes it's so difficult to believe, isn't it? That He hasn't forgotten you? That He really is working out all things for your good? Try to imagine it this way, God transcends time. He is not governed by it. The end is as clear to Him as the beginning. He reads each moment as a whole and not as segments or a succession of time slots, as we do. He is and He always was. Your life to Him is one moment and yet He's to intimately involved with you every second. This is so hard for us to fathom but, since He is not bound by time, nor by "hindsight", your prayer is as much a part of your future as it is your past. He knows what you need and He's already provided it in the future. We wish we could see it all, as He does, but what we can do is rest in knowing that the prayer is already answered. Our best is already up ahead of us; we are trapped in time. Praise God that His love has already saved and provided for our future. Rest in this today.